deepundergroundpoetry.com
Heart Song
When am dark and am sinking, She reaches in and finds me;
She brightens me at sunset and warms me after midnight
And they say were half crazy, but that why I want to be with her,
She pulls me on her wave length and her perfect body touches me with her mind;
And she unites my minds body and she unites my heart soul,
She given me a heart song until I sank in her river Blindly like a stone,
She holds me & answers with her heart beat,
in all that we been loving we always been each others Lover
She Loves me like a woman,
and gives to me blindely as a child;
and she acts just like a Lady,
but when she hurts its like a child
She pulls me onto her wave length and tells me we always have been each other’s Lover
And then I am devoted to Loving her for a life time of giving,
Shes half crazy, but that’s when I come seeking,
for a question that has no answer
She answers me in kind, I always been her Lover, long before the story was written,
She spent a long time watching,
As I travled blind,
lookin for her to touch my body with her perfect mind
She brightens me at sunset and warms me after midnight
And they say were half crazy, but that why I want to be with her,
She pulls me on her wave length and her perfect body touches me with her mind;
And she unites my minds body and she unites my heart soul,
She given me a heart song until I sank in her river Blindly like a stone,
She holds me & answers with her heart beat,
in all that we been loving we always been each others Lover
She Loves me like a woman,
and gives to me blindely as a child;
and she acts just like a Lady,
but when she hurts its like a child
She pulls me onto her wave length and tells me we always have been each other’s Lover
And then I am devoted to Loving her for a life time of giving,
Shes half crazy, but that’s when I come seeking,
for a question that has no answer
She answers me in kind, I always been her Lover, long before the story was written,
She spent a long time watching,
As I travled blind,
lookin for her to touch my body with her perfect mind
Published 11th Feb 2013
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comments 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
30th Mar 2013 2:37am
Great song! Really enjoyed. :)
24th Sep 2014 11:25pm
You say 'honest critique', so I'm going to flavor this comment with 'honest critique.'
Do you plan to revise this? Or will you simply leave this 'song' as an uneven mess?
This was cute, when you got passed all of the distractions.
Was there a deeper message you were shooting for? Or was this simply a rough draft of a song?
Do you plan to revise this? Or will you simply leave this 'song' as an uneven mess?
This was cute, when you got passed all of the distractions.
Was there a deeper message you were shooting for? Or was this simply a rough draft of a song?
Hey, hows it going man, your right, it is structurally a mess, it was written for a woman at the time that, despite the strong passionate love I had for her, she had this natural way of setting me off rhythm and balance, the feelings and emotions are and were there, however; things with her always came out off balance... I could see right away how awkward this read, I couldn't get it to flow smoothly as it did in my head, but the more I thought about it, and who it was for, the more the imperfections seemed to fit, the awkward unbalanced love that I remember when I think of her... I do plan on revisiting this, but to my own eyes, I see it fitting in a abstract kind of unbalanced type of love,,, that said however, by this songs nature, it should be a much stronger piece... I think the only way to satisfy both halves of me when regarding this one is to split it up in two, a perfectly unbalanced one, and a more smoother flowing one,,, that would be a very interesting project to write, have done work like that before, writing a piece from different aspects of the mind or personality... How are you my friend: wolf / Eddie
