deepundergroundpoetry.com
constraint
what exactly's written in stone?
and what can we change or push?
which are the ways we could go on?
firing brain cells build a burning bush
but we cannot understand, do we?
with thoughts sticking on mother tongue
and we don't see how to break free
each taken step gets lower-rung
what is the frontier of our mind?
to which illusions are we bound?
why do we fail by staying blind
and getting blinder with each round?
feels like this way is old but blocked
without any useful sign ahead
we don't know if the door is locked
because we couldn't find one yet
'cause we work as a snag instead
and what can we change or push?
which are the ways we could go on?
firing brain cells build a burning bush
but we cannot understand, do we?
with thoughts sticking on mother tongue
and we don't see how to break free
each taken step gets lower-rung
what is the frontier of our mind?
to which illusions are we bound?
why do we fail by staying blind
and getting blinder with each round?
feels like this way is old but blocked
without any useful sign ahead
we don't know if the door is locked
because we couldn't find one yet
'cause we work as a snag instead
Published 10th Feb 2013
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Anonymous
- Edited 10th Feb 2013 5:42pm
10th Feb 2013 5:38pm
Yeah, I do think we get blinder with each round....cool thoughts, poet.
Mind you, I read somewhere:
"The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life,
The clearer we should see through it"
(Jean Paul)
Intriguing, hey?
LOVE these lines, scathing!
*we don't know if the door is locked
because we couldn't find one yet
But battled a bit with last line:
*'cause we work as a snag instead
(Feels inconclusive....maybe you intended it..?)
Also dig the unusual placement of that contraction in the first line, wow!
*what exactly's written in stone
Pen on, poet!
Love the piece, thanks for sharing :-)
Peace
Tidespotter
Ps. Your thought patterns are sometimes like a hi-action art movie....exciting chapters and unexpected twists and turns.....
Keep THAT up!
:-D
Mind you, I read somewhere:
"The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life,
The clearer we should see through it"
(Jean Paul)
Intriguing, hey?
LOVE these lines, scathing!
*we don't know if the door is locked
because we couldn't find one yet
But battled a bit with last line:
*'cause we work as a snag instead
(Feels inconclusive....maybe you intended it..?)
Also dig the unusual placement of that contraction in the first line, wow!
*what exactly's written in stone
Pen on, poet!
Love the piece, thanks for sharing :-)
Peace
Tidespotter
Ps. Your thought patterns are sometimes like a hi-action art movie....exciting chapters and unexpected twists and turns.....
Keep THAT up!
:-D
11th Feb 2013 12:26pm
thanks! your comments always make me think again about my poems in a very interesting and inspiring way. they help me to discover new aspects.
btw, congrats to your well-deserved trophy!!
btw, congrats to your well-deserved trophy!!
