living in the past

at this time... in this memorial time...
my future, my child that i never saw grow... into...
just forget it... my pririority always was, to die

the flower, that smothered light of colorfull shine...
why has to grow only in my past...? only in my grave...?
a hopeless dream...  inside the paradox time of my definition

quietly and without warmth... my desolated hapiness
moves inside my lungs to bring the captivation of my sun,
can i destroy myself? without hurting myself....?
i desire the motion, the bond betwean myself and myself  
just to see if i will be complete