Wtf, brain?

Hollywood Undead preforming We Are, is the song that kinda describes me. I am made from broken parts. I'm like this crumbled paper: no matter how well you try to fix it, you can still see the marks. I wonder if that's why I am so confused right now.
You see, I have this great boyfriend. Treats me like I am an angel or something. But my feelings for him are not as strong as my feelings for someone else. And here is the part that I am a little confused about: the guy I like more than my boyfriend says that he hates me, but sometimes he forget to be sarcastic and then he can smile and laugh with me.
We were at school one day, and were working on a project. We were allowed to go downtown so that we could buy some food. He invited me with him and the whole way forth and back, we spoke nice to eachother, smiled, laughed and seemd like good friends. How can he hate me, and still smile to me like that? Does he really hate me, or is he just trying to protect himself?
I don't know. The only thing I do know, is that I have more feelings for this guy than I have for my boyfriend. It sucks, beacause my boyfriend is the sweetest guy in the universe. And I'm getting feelings for a guy that only smiles to me when he forgets to be an ass...
My heart and mind must be really fucked up.
Lets call my boyfriend "Glen" and the other guy "Nick".
Nick and I are going to send an application to the same school as I by the end of April. Nick hopes that I don't get accepted there, and he also says that he hates me because I am rude and a bitch... I know I can be so sometimes, but I've become nicer and nice towards him... But maybe he's blind and can't see that we could have been good friends.
Someday, he might see me for whom I really am.
Someday...
Maybe