He Narrowly Escapes Into the Shower (extreme content)

FIRST HALF - Bones with the Piggy  
 
     Steven and Elizabeth were having a dinner party for the five year anniversary of the first time Steven forgot Elizabeth's second poodle's birthday. “Oh my God Steven, look at the price on this green bottle, it's got to be delicious.” Elizabeth was always a lover of the finer pains in life. “Darling, even if my bifocals are correct, I really don't give a damn.” Steven starts to walk forward away from the wine section towards the beer cooler. “Well my Kung Fu's better than yours mother fucker.” Elizabeth plucks the bottle from the shelf and puts it in the cart.  
     “Darling come down here, you've got to see this drawing of a monkey on this beer from Bangladesh.” Steven says while chuckling and half covering his mouth, and Elizabeth slams the bottle of wine to the empty baby seat of the cart by racing towards Steven. Steven changes his look into a smirk towards the young face of female beauty, picks up the dangerous bottle, and starts to step loudly back into the long part of the seventy foot isle which was deserted. “I really hate this damned store.” Steven whispers to himself.  
     “Again is it, you son of a bitch bastard? Not without a fight do we leave this store right.” The young Indian girl Elizabeth loved to fight, but loved losing to Steven even more. “Darling, where's your Hindu heart? Besides, we need at least five bottles of wine. And, if you promise not to cut me tonight, I'm fine with picking out ten.” “Darling is it, with my Hindu heart? Well I was about to pick a few more but the monkey, oh you bastard. (She changes her tone from that of a hissing whisper to a low bassie allure) How would you like me, to play with your monkey, right here on isle 72?”  
      Steven was always impressed with Elizabeth's ability to be a freak “Well blue 43 hutt hutt baby.” Elizabeth's jaw dropped in quiet exclamation and she exhaled widely before saying “Oh as if you don't have to take me to the girl's room for something like that.” “All right lady sugarlicious, let's go.” Steven was Beaming with anticipation, but yet still denied. “Oh keep the big bone in your pants white man, I'm about to score with a Frenchman's foot in my mouth.” Elizabeth always laughed about the fact that what to her was the best tasting wine, had to have the best chance for containing toenail remnants.  
     “Oh come on sweet hips, I was about to sign you up for a barrel of booyah.” “Yes well, maybe that black man I had in college had nothing on you, but it isn't as if I'm going to re-experience the whole Applebee's fiasco.” “Huhg!” Steven began to get an embarrassing look that was quickly becoming regional. “Oh Jesus Steven, do you always have to get erections when we go to the Dime Piggy?” Elizabeth knew she had once again made the mistake of mentioning the name of her favorite grocery mart as Steven erupted into laughter. “Good God man, your dick's getting harder!” Elizabeth abruptly shouted, and quickly heard the same sort of reaction from a woman who seemed to be three isles over. “What the fuck was that?!”  
     A shopping cart is over flowing now, after Steven rearranged it's contents to make way in the large compartment for all the wine. “Steven my loving husband, remind me where this bread was flew in from.” Steven tries to contain a groaning tone “France.” “And where was this freshwater fish caught?” “Portugal.” “And before you tell me why you still have a boner, where is this cereal from?” “London, and I love you baby, if you only allowed me to sort of hide this thing...” “No! It causes you pain, display it proudly and I'll protect you.” “I know I say this every time, but. What.” Elizabeth heard the sound of running footsteps getting closer. “Do you hear that Steven?” “Yes, and I only pray that it isn't that woman who yelled back at you a moment ago.”  
     An extraordinarily beautiful athletic looking woman turns the corner right in front of Elizabeth and Steven, and tries to stop suddenly, yet is almost on top of them. “Yes! I thought for a moment, but I had to come see for myself. Howdy big boy, is this your only little trophy?” Elizabeth giggles into her open hand, and asks “Well you're cute, but can I ask you a question?” “Oh God, yes please.” Elizabeth steps her left foot forward, pivots back with her right heal turning her right hip slightly, and punches the whore knocking her out cold on her back. “Oh come on, I pulled that a little bitch!”    
     “Honey (Steven pauses for what seems to him to be the length of the Super Bowl in fear of disagreement) run.” “What are you talking about? Didn't you just see that shit? I knocked that bitch out for real, it was beautiful.” “Darling, I know you feel that was some sort of accomplishment considering that woman was certainly above your weight class, but you'll be feeling much more guilty about this in the jail house.” “Oh whatever man, where's the boner?” A portly stock boy walks around the corner of the other end of the Isle far away, and shouts “What the Hell is going on down there?!” In return Elizabeth shrieks “It's the police!” Elizabeth takes off above her top speed, and Steven sprints passed her pushing shopping carts out of her way. “Everyone watch out, my wife's a holey terror!”  
     As Elizabeth makes it passed the store register, Steven halts panting “Here, this is for the damages.” and he throws a wad of money at the young cashier hitting him in the forehead. Elizabeth is jumping up and down with her back to the entrance of the grocer's with her fists raised in victory, and she yells “Slams on the Dime Piggy again bitches!”  She walks calmly out of the store with Steven smirking behind her, and a quite large Mexican interrupts Steven's path “Excuse me Seniore, do you know where I can find...” Steven pushes him to the ground by the face with his palm and a tug on the belt “Out of the way jack ass. Baby run, we're about to go to Portland, and you're not the champ of Texas!”        
     “The man is on our tale honey, what do we do?” Steven says jokingly while pulling the car into the driveway, and she simply shushes him away from her cell phone “ShushShhShh! Yes, be sure that it's the bread flown in from France. Yes. Yes. That's right. Well you should have that on record, my husband's name is Steven Sterling. Oh of course. Oh thank you so much, and we just love shopping at the Dime Piggy. Mister I've gotta tell you, you guys have got my favorite slogan in the world. I mean slams on the Dime Piggy again, that's just genius. Yes. Oh my gosh. Well that's just tragic. I'm really sorry that there's such disturbances out there. (Elizabeth looks down at the floor board of the car in sadness then shrugs positively) We wouldn't ask for such a large delivery, but concerning time... Oh yes, this dinner party's going to be huge. Oh and you too, bye bye.”  
     “Honey I hope you know that we just pulled some brown belt maneuvers under some circumstances  that are considered less than honorable by me. So which is it, pistols in the street, or broad swords in the back yard?” “Oh whatever, you'd better recognize that we don't have much time for you to eat my pussy before that delivery boy gets here, and you're answering the door.” “Aye Aye Mrs Sterling.”      
 
SECOND HALF - No Tacos for You  
 
     “I'm really glad that Hefe's coming, but I feel bad about what I did to that guy at the store, man he went down like a ton of bricks.” “I love it when you call me man, could you please allow me to suck your cock?” Elizabeth and Steven were washing the dishes a couple hours before a shin dig of complacent denial to the heir of importance, and Steven answers Elizabeth “Darling, once again you almost made me drop a dish, but have you ever known me to turn down such a request?” Elizabeth places her hands on Steven's ankles and says “I pray for us Steven, and that gigantic Latino as well, now enough of the pleasantries to the Gods.” “Darling could you not...” “No! It is at this moment that I am so ashamed. So it is first that I tell you, you must be accurate, and I am going to begin by licking your scrotum.”  
     Elizabeth has suddenly begun the job that she'd rather do, more than the dishes, and Steven blurts out “Wait honey, I'm going to take a while with this, we've all ready had sex today.” “It's too late, you must do your duty.” “Okay, but what is it I'm supposed to say here?” Steven's forgetfulness makes Elizabeth shrug with an exhale out of her nose, she pauses for a second and says “I am about to stop if you can't speak to me correctly for this occasion.” “All right. Yes the love of my eternal burning desire for that which I am uncertain in my own worth for, let's see some speed if you want it sugar.” Steven rarely doesn't eventually find a way to satisfy Elizabeth, and she has almost finished training her husband in matters of giving him pleasure.  
     “Thank you for my own ability to be wasteful in life, and please forgive my husband for all of his foul mannered behavior.” Elizabeth says after swallowing what she has been trained from a child to believe is the most fruitful nectar in heaven or on earth. “I'm not saying anything.” Steven says after Elizabeth pulls up his pants and is fastening his belt, and he speaks again “At least it seams our marriage isn't falling apart.” “Well there's all types of ways to trick a man, and I was trained well, but I honestly don't believe your semen or any man's is the fruitiest nectar.” “I don't think that's what that is supposed to mean, or I don't think you, I mean uhm.” “Oh whatever with that, now you finish the dishes chop chop.”  
     Elizabeth was hoping for an argument, but Steven was restraining laughter as he said “Would you like me to whistle, because I surly feel like it. Elizabeth wait. I'm sorry, but I believe I've corrupted you some how.” “Oh you're such a silly little man, big boy or whatever. Don't you remember, this bitch is totally gangster.” At Elizabeth's claim Steven pushes hisses of laughter out of his nose, and Elizabeth responds “Oh what you don't believe me?” “Darling, will you just tell me something, I make you happy don't I?” “Why don't you just call me man again and see what happens?” “I've got to go clean the dishes before you get us both in trouble, and you have to start getting ready.” “Oh yes my princess party! (Elizabeth starts clapping her hands in excitement) Maybe this will make up for the fact that you built a fountain so close to Poppsie Doodle's burial grounds.” “I'm not sayin anything.”  
    Steven dives into finishing the dishes and starts whispering angrily to himself “So that's what all these years of torture have been about, the fountain, she wanted that fountain. You have to put it away from the porch, but not against the fence, mehrmehrmehrmehrmeehrmeehrmeehr. Oh, and of course you can't block the only outside entrance for (Steven slams down a sponge into a large splash of soapsuds growling) the princess. Oh well, she did love that fountain, wait a second. Dear God, just one woman is a paradox to me, and I have to confiscate my neighbor's bigger backyard.”              
     “Oh I'm wearing my little pink dress and people are arriving!” Elizabeth says loudly in a high pitch tone. “Who is it, because let's remember you shouldn't make fun of people for reading slow.” “Oh whatever with Hefe, he'd better not ruin my party.” “Hey, Hefe's my best friend, and what the Hell has he ever done that's so wrong.” Elizabeth's eyes widen into a frown upon her face, then she squints at Steven and says “Just why does he have to be Mr cool all the time, and he smokes marijuana.” “So do you, and before you start counting amounts, I can't wait until he gets here.” Elizabeth smirks shaking her head which is tilted to the right “Well if you tell me he quit smoking marijuana, I'm going to be pissed.” “What?” “You know, it's a party thing.” Steven looks out the window while saying “How long are these people gonna take to oh God, it's Mr Marbles. You didn't tell me about Mr Marbles coming.”  
     “Well it's just a dog, and go get dressed hurry.” “I am dressed.” “Khaki shorts?” “Yes, this is business casual, that's what you said you wanted.” “Well you need to dress up a little more than that Mr Dockers, what are you a tax attorney?” “Hey, that's what Hefe's doing now.” “What?!” “I'm going outside to enrage a fussy little fur ball.” “Steven!” Elizabeth puts her hands in the creases of her forearms and says to herself “If he doesn't... Oh what doesn't enrage that dumb little animal, oh God I forgot about Mister Marbles.”  
     Elizabeth walks out of the house onto her lavish front lawn and hears a snippy Pomeranian Chihuahua mix barking in a high pitch. Steven walks towards his beautiful busty Indian wife and says “Look honey, Betsy brought her husband Mr Marbles.” Betsy, a portly elderly woman who prides herself so much on being Caucasian that she lightens her face with powder gives a horrible gasp, and her husband who can't seem to find the dog's muzzle in his wife's trunk says “Hey, don't make fun of Mr Marbles.”  
     “Oh he was making fun of you you little weenie.” says Betsy, and Elizabeth chimes in “You really are a weenie Todd, I mean sometimes you need to man up you know.” “Well it's lovely to once again meet you all, I'm going in to change clothes, and it's impossible to man up subliminally.” Steven says as he turns toward Elizabeth and starts to walk inside the house. “Oh thank you honey, and put in contacts.” “Contacts?” “And wear that shirt that makes you look like an Italian hit man.” “Well, astah la vista, baby.”  
     Betsy is not just wearing a frown, her eyes seam to be popping out with upside down mortification. “Just what has that man gotten you into young lady.” “I'm sorry about that Todd, my husband really has a huge boner, I mean he is he is a huge boner. Sorry.” “Well my word (Betsy places her left hand over her mouth while imagining catching Steven in the bathroom for a glimpse) you know I hate to say this, but I'd love to see it.” Elizabeth's eyes turn three shades of molten lava while her ocular cavities are wide open, her mouth starts to shutter and twitch while closed in a frown, then her bottom lip straightens while her upper lip snarls on the left. As Betsy begins to talk, Elizabeth's eyes squint and her mouth puckers “Well just see it, honestly I love to get a glimpse at the big boys. In the shower, in front of the toilet, on the toilet, in bed while covered with roses, in the tub, sliding down a pole...”  
    Elizabeth starts to laugh with restraint and says “Well my husband's got great abs, great abs, but he's not for you to be gawking at without his pants off.” “Oh well, I suppose you're right.” As Betsy fantasizes about sitting in a grandma size kiddie pool while watching Steven taking out the trash wearing nothing but a doughnut raft, Todd springs forth from behind the car “Found it, I found the muzzle. You've got to love a man in command who has the wherewithal and resolve to stay on track, focus and get it nailed.” Betsy moans before pushing Todd with a command “Oh whatever you bumbling numskull, now why don't you get Mr Marbles out of that tree.” Todd looks around on the ground in all directions, then he notices Elizabeth giving him directions by pointing, and Todd says “Well how'd he get up there?”  
     Steven's finishing putting in his contact lenses, and Elizabeth walks into the master bath “Oh my magnificent... Look you need watch out for Betsy, you look great good job. Mr Marble was in a tree, but thank God Todd caught him.”  “Mr Marbles, gotta love him. But darling, you wanted me to dress for a night on the town, so don't get any bright ideas.” “Well don't talk in your everyday nerdy voice, come on baby do the voice.” Steven changes not just the pitch and volume of his voice, but the accent as well, to that of a quiet whispy low tone “But darling, that's a together time thing, do you really want me to stay in character.” “Whatever with that, let's get you changed again my incredible rocket scientist.” Steven's voice changes back again as he says “I don't just design propulsion systems, I'm working on a time machine so we can't set it to yesterday and cancel this dinner party.”  
     “Oh did you have to say night on the town, kiss my ass Steven because that's where I want to be.” “Do you really think we have the time, and you know what, I'm starting to realize that Poppsie Doodles's grave is never going to rest easy.” “Build me a time machine, and we're even, Steven.” Elizabeth turns to head through the bedroom, and Steven says “Stop for a second honey. (Elizabeth stops) Lift up the back of your little dress for me. (Elizabeth starts to smile while pushing her lips inward, raising her left eyebrow ever so slightly, and does as Steven said) Well at least I've got that.” “You best believe it mother fucker.”  
     Steven's startled at the side door “Jerry, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you in almost a year.” “Good to see ya fucko.”  “Well you're only the second in between the convoy to arrive, so of course you can't necessarily tell that we're having a dinner party.” “Really, a dinner party, how faggish of you. Yeah, Elizabeth invited me. So how's the whole married thing?” “Elizabeth? You've never even met Elizabeth.” “I know, where is she? I've been looking forward to this.” “Elizabeth!” Stevens wife comes running down the hallway of the somewhat large ranch style house and says “Who uhm, are you?” and Steven says “This is Jerry, supposedly you invited him.” “Well where's the Jerry who has the long hair?” “My pot dealer, his name is Jeff.”  
     The newly acquired half invited guest steps further into the hallway and says “This is embarrassing, I wonder how it happened. By the way, why do you still live in such a shitty house?” Elizabeth shows a display of inn-affection by opening up her mouth “Listen, I've only met this sucka chump for about five seconds, but I love this house. Having a modest size dwelling allows for grand adventures, and the finer things in life. This is what happens when you give your wife a Rolodex and say invite whoever you want.” Elizabeth walks away down the hallway sideways shacking her finger up and down, while pointing it at Jerry. Jerry inquires “So how's the business of blowing shit up?” and Steven responds “I don't design missiles anymore, I'm working with aeronautics. I almost feel like asking the same question myself. How's the video game industry coming?” “Fuck it all man. The ups and down, cutting people's life out from underneath them, I never realized it was such a cut throat world for real. I should've stuck with designing weaponry. Two weeks ago I saw a colleague get stabbed in the eye with a pencil, it was graphite.” “Jesus man, sorry to hear that, my wife's pretty hot though huh? She will do basically anything almost, and I'll do the same for her, I bet you I could have her kill you. It'd put you out of your misery.” Jerry chuckles with a sigh “Misery? Shit man you should see my house. I some nights have a few girls, white girls, that look just as hot as what's her name delivered to clean the place buck naked.” “What's her name.” Steven was not amused with this man who was stacking boulders against padlocks as if they were brains in a sack.  
     The night wore on. Hefe arrived, Elizabeth's best friend Suzy arrived, Steven's mother came with his twelve nephews, but it was to Elizabeth's disappointment that Steven's ex-girlfriend didn't show up (She had only invited her to beat her ass again in the driveway). It was strange to Elizabeth that the further they had got into the night, Jerry's eyes seemed to dart around as if he was feeling threatened. Hefe comes out of the house into the back yard and shouts out “Tacos will be here soon! (He turns his head toward Jerry and says suspiciously) And, it ain't nothin but a gangsta party.” then goes back inside. Elizabeth gets up from the outside female's table, and walks over to Steven glaring “What the Hell is Hefe shouting about Tacos at my dinner party for?”  
     Steven's on his fifteenth glass of Whiskey, is still stone cold sober, and gives a calm kettled reply to Elizabeth “Well at least Besty's drunkenly enjoying herself, and yes I told Hefe he could make some tacos. Hefe wanted to make tacos, so I told Hefe to make some tacos. You don't know shit about Hefe's tacos, and you're about to find out.” “I don't give a shit about Hefe and his tacos, but what's this shit about Betsy?” “You told to me to keep an eye on  her, I have been, and look at her she's drunk. Drunk, and somehow even more disgusting.” Well you just keep watching that old lady jiggle by the fountain soldier, but that's not a shot about a dog. You're doing really good, after Hefe's finished with his tacos, we'll hear the kids all read a story and say good night. (Elizabeth turns around to walk off but stops as she remembers) Oh, and throw Mr Marbles over the fence, he's pissing me off.” All night long Mr Marbles did nothing but growl and run around in circles, and was most likely soon to pass out anyways.  
     Jerry finally decides that he can't take it anymore, so he gets up and walks over to the outside female's table, and asks “Excuse me ladies, but do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Elizabeth gives a half frown with one eye wide open and the other slightly squinting and almost barks “That's not dinner party behavior. Go ask Steven.” “Well excuse me again. (and across the yard shouts) Hey Steven! Can I use your can?” Steven gives a cock eyed shoulder shrug slightly tilting his head, and then nods up and down. All of a sudden Steven was wearing sunglasses, in his mind.  
     Betsy walks over to the fence where Steven is standing by the banner of a Mark Twain quote, and she asks “Where'd your lanky friend go?” “The white guy?” “Yeah.” “To the bathroom.” “Oh uhm, is there another bathroom, because, because I gotta squat.” Steven turned his head to look Betsy square in the eye where she was standing to his left , Elizabeth noticed she was almost blocking part of the word banker (She had told Steven to stand in front of the letter A) and Steven told Betsy “Actually, yes, but consider it a scavenger hunt.”  
     Betsy farts out of her mouth at Steven every time they run into each other, and tonight was no different. Steven's best friend Hefe crosses paths with Betsy while walking across the yard, and she blurts out “What's up gardener?” As Hefe continues his course toward Steven, he half stares over his shoulder, then he reaches Steven and says with a soft shout “The tacos are ready!” “Good.” “You know that Vato with the learning disability? I think he's taking a shower, and man that old bitch is drunk huh?” “Yeah. Wait, what? A fucking shower? I hope Betsy goes in there with him and shits out her squat.” Hefe roars with laughter, and Elizabeth glares with both eyes crooked and crossed at the back of his head.  
     “I've got to take care of some shit.” Steven starts on a march with his glass half full, Mr Marbles flies with a squeak over the word umbrella, and Steven heads into the house. Elizabeth appears in front of him with a flash of speed and she says “You're doing good. Where are you going?” “That idiot is supposedly taking a shower, or so says Hefe, and I trust Hefe Hefe's solid. Wine bottles gotta go in the trash, and I took care of Mr Marbles.” “Oh my God. You with your fucking Rolodex, go take care of it, or no tacos for you.”  
     There's steam coming from underneath the bathroom door that's just around the corner from the kitchen, Steven sees Betsy passed out on the couch, and he knocks on the door. “Out in a second!”  The door swings open with a stench. Jerry's buttoning up his shirt and Steven shouts “Did you just take a dump in my shower?!” “Yeah that's my thing, it's how I go, sorry I couldn't hold it. I usually go home to do so, but you know, me cassa sue cassa right.” “All right I don't necessarily have to fight you over this,  but actually... (Steven can't stand another whiff as he catches the full affront of it) Right now mother fucker, let's go out into the street, or outside any fucking where! Come on!”  
     Steven turns around to lead Jerry outside, but unfortunately for everyone he heads for the backyard through the kitchen. Elizabeth storms into the kitchen and meets Steven with his whole new scenario all together in her highest pitch “What the fuck is going on in here, is that you screaming in here?” Elizabeth is almost in tears and Steven turns away half way from her, points toward the bathroom and yells “I'm so sorry baby, but that asshole just took a shit in our fucking shower!” “Oh no fucking shit he didn't!”  
     Elizabeth lunges almost on top of the kitchen counter, is outside of her princess fantasy, and draws a knife out of the block that's shaped like a toad. Steven tries to stop Elizabeth by staying within a distance of being in front of her while back peddling, but Jerry comes around the corner “What's the big deal man?” Elizabeth flips the knife into the air and catches it, with the idea of a downward stabbing motion. She almost gets halfway past Steven by knocking Hefe's tacos off of the counter and onto the floor. Steven yells “Don't do it baby you'll never forgive yourself!” Steven's faster than Elizabeth, and Jerry's frozen in fear. Elizabeth raises the half cleaver over her head as she's basically reached her goal, and Steven lunges kicking Jerry in the chest as to replace him to catch the half cleaver in the shoulder. Elizabeth confusingly states “Damn baby, I was just going to put it in his skull, or thanks I guess.” “Don't mention it, I spilled my drink, so I'm really going to need another one.” “Well thanks for not dropping the glass.”  
    The children are all crying now. Hefe's crying now. Betsy's screaming about falling off of the couch  and breaking both of her dentures. Todd's up from the outside female's table, and he's crying over Betsy now. Elizabeth is starting to well up with a frown, and Jerry gets up off of the deck as Steven is putting his foot down. Steven's mother is finally finishing her present task of climbing over the letter A, and as she's almost over the fence, she thinks about triangles and vaginas. Jerry threatens “You know I've always wanted to kick your ass, but I never thought I could do it in real life, until now.” Jerry really was an asshole. “Well I just threw a part Pomeranian over a fence, wanna fight about it?” Steven says glaring as Jerry starts stepping toward him, and the half cleaver's still sticking out of Steven's shoulder.  
     Jerry isn't aware that Steven has earned his fifth degree black belt in Shotokan Karate since the last time they saw each other, which was the fourth time Steven told Jerry he never wanted to see him again. The video game expert lunges at the rocket scientist with a kindergarten kick, and everything goes phooey in his face. Steven raises his right knee to meet the kick, then kicks Jerry twice (with basically the same step) once in the ribs and once in his forehead on his way down to the ground (dislocating Jerry's 3rd vertebrae in his neck).    
    Steven finally sets his foot on the floor, and he feels as if he's getting a thousand yard stare. Elizabeth applauds as quickly as her little hands could clap “Okay good, that was pretty good. I mean you did ruin my dinner party pretty much, but we won't split hairs about that. I think this marriage of ours is working out pretty well so far, but your form on that kick to the abdomen left something to be desired.” Steven answers Elizabeth's pretty good applause with a militant tone “Agreed.”  
     Elizabeth shouts “Well I've gotta perform a complicated appendectomy in the morning!” and kicks Jerry in the stomach yelling as loud as a fearsome suburban princess can yell “That's for Hefe's tacos mother fucker! (she lowers her volume) So what do we do about this piece of shit? You know I really wish Hefe still smoked pot, I could really use a joint right about now.”  
      Steven has just about reached the end of his rope and grumbles “I wish I could reach up and hit the snooze button on my alarm, but I've got some marijuana.” Elizabeth responds “What?! Awe man, you failed on that one, you knew I wanted some pot.” “Yes well, earlier after Jerry got here you said you were actually glad we didn't have any weed, because this was going to be a for real princess style dinner party, and I didn't want to get in trouble with you knowing I had it in the house.”  
      Elizabeth starts to tremble a little,  and she categorizes her astonishment “Yes well, reality is actually sort of settling in now sweetheart, and Jerry's not even moving. I really think we should decide what we're going to do here.” Steven responds “I know, it's freaky because I see him breathing, and his eyes are even open.” Hefe somehow thinks in his sober state that he can see to Jerry “Awe man, you really fucked this Vato up holms. Yeah, this is too much for tacos.”  
     Elizabeth has to know “This is big, I mean what are we going to do?” Steven has a genius idea “The first plan is for you to stop watching so many dumb ass gangster movies, where it's easy to get away with some shit like this, but this isn't a crime for our family at all. I know it looks bad with nutso's shit in the tub, but look at all these people around, I mean I bet even Betsy over there... Jesus, what happened to Betsy?! Well we've really got to call the 911 darling. Honestly, I think the knife you stuck in my shoulder is in the bone. I lost my sun glasses, and didn't you hear that snap?” The End  
     “p. s.” says the short story, and Hefe shouts “Hey holms, ain't it nice when the small half can be better for some people?” “And let's not forget honey, I didn't stab you, Hefe stabbed you. Actually I meant Jeff...” Elizabeth says on the way to the Hospital in fear of Steven's response “What was that an attempt at humor?”
 
Story by: M.E.L.