Captured    Memory

 


                        I

Proudly,in its place of honor,resting amid forgotten volumes
of Dickinson, Elliot,Frost, and Poe--on the second shelf
of an unstable bookcase--rests an aging pewter frame.
In the early morning sunbeams,the tarnished edges, somehow,
faintly gleam.

Behind its glass, your face stares back at me--ebony hair
that falls in boyish, unruly wisps upon your forehead,
your violet eyes dancing with the laughter that hides
the tortured soul that only I could discern...and understand.


                      II

The faintest film of dust has collected upon the surface,
blurring the softness of your features--as  through a veil
of spider lace, I stare at your image frozen in space,
and time, for eternity.

I wonder, as you gaze out at me--your full lips curved
in that endearing, lopsided grin that you were so famous for--
if that is how you view me now, through that silvery,misty
curtain that separates my  m o r t a l  world from yours...
that prevents your soul from joining mine.

With trembling hands, I press my lips to the coolness
of the smooth glass surface, and recall your passionate,
tender, tantalizing kisses--their tingling memory lingering,
lasting long after our completion of this gentle act of affection.                                                      


                      III

I squeeze my eyes shut--tightly-and that all too familiar scene
plays out behind burning lids...that lazy, late September Saturday we stumbled arm-in-arm down that filthy, narrow street
in that sleepy, Iowa town--drunk on Annie Green-Springs wine,
singing Springstein songs off-key.We felt so innocently invincible within the protection of our love.

As my fingers slowly trace the delicate design of butterflies and roses--across the top and down the sides--I am physically sick with sorrow as my mind recalls how this lovely, whimsical
frame became your gift to me that hazy Autumn afternoon.
You laughed aloud at my protests over such a seemingly "extravagant" token of your undying affection for me, pressing it firmly, but carefully into my trembling hands, closing
my fingers around it while you whispered that my love--freely given--was the true gift...that it was enough to last our life-times...enough to heal your suffering soul.


                      IV

O--I failed you miserably...f a i l e d   to save you
from the monsters melding in the shadows of your mind,
from the demons that pursued your imagination's nitemares.
I FAILED to save you from yourself.

My right hand shakes uncontrollably, as I reach to replace
the only solid reminder left to represent all those fleeting
moments spent together in love.


                       V

The mournful sigh of a breeze lifts the curtains...and I hear
your lilting laughter throughout the room, feel your lips
faintly, gently brush my cheek.  My heart will never accept what my shattered mind refuses to believe.  Relunctantly, I cross
the room, forcing my feet to carry me to the door....
tearfully resting my hand upon the knob....
closing, and locking it, behind me.