Letter to my Friend

I had realized you knew the second I opened my mouth.
I suppose I should have known that you knew before now,
but clouds encased the space above my clavicle
and concluding that you knew is something my mind would not allow.

Awkwardness rushed in the space between us
Creating an icy void that pressed on my chest and crystallized my breath.
Magnanimous but strained, your expression told me everything.
Confronting you that way had to be worse than death

because I look like a liar and I know it.
Please believe me when I say I did not lie, though I did omit certain facts
Maybe they are the same things; I just didn’t want you to hurt.  
Promise me you will forgive when I apologize for that

Absolve me my friend as I confess to you here,

Yes, it happened.  
No I didn’t want you to know.  
Yes, I know you know.  

Some things can’t be helped and each time it passes I shed a tear.  
Your mouth is silent and your eyes say you see past what I show,
I am sorry for my demons, release me from my fear.