My life

I use
I abuse
I'm confused
I do not choose
I have to
because of you

it takes away the pain
and replaces it with emptieness
and it is all your fault
but I will never admit it

It makes me steal
it makes me cry
it calms me down
it gets me high

it is the reason
I'm alive
it is the thing
that gets me by

no one can know
no one can see
I do this for you
not for me

Without this
I would snap
I would lose you
we can't have that

this is not real
I can not feel
My wounds don't heal
your words they kill
So let's pack our bags
and head for the hills

and I wait

for this tto all go away