Loss (a poem from years ago)

Sitting here in darkness now
so silent and alone
remembering the joy I had
my heart begins to groan

remembering the way things were
before this misery
the way I felt the joy you felt
controlled like wizardry

I remember how my heart would jump
when I saw or heard from you
how whenever your heart was glad
my heart became glad too
The sweet release my heart would feel
when I brought joy to you

The peace you brought
to mind and heart and soul
quite simply dear to make things short
I loved you with my whole

I remember all that joy that died
when I read your simple note
I just could not believe it
not a single word you wrote

my single joy, my single hope
the most beautiful thing I knew
it all is gone because, you see
to me all that was you

I feel as though I'm nothing more
than a puppet in a box
and now the memory of joy
my very being mocks

I still do long too much for joy
that I can never know
so into the solitude of darkness now
my lonely heart must go

I must escape the brutal wrath
of this cruel and bitter world
simply because for far too long
my miserable mind has swirled