Its All A Shame!!

 Its hard to swallow the truth. I just wish it wasn't so. I got to mix it with some don't give a fuck and let it go.
They say things happen for a reason but I could have prevented this. To feel so broken down, I wasn't meant for this.
Now to deal with it, i'm on a war path of self-destruction. I try to find whats wrong and I see nothing but corruption.
I wake up in the morning and I can barely function. My visual is felled with black holes and I can feel the suction.
Something inside is taking control everyone take caution. I'm feeling like I don't belong to this world like a Martian.
I've done so much damage, of myself left, there's only a fraction. Me and bad luck are meant for each other, I could feel the attraction.  
My heart pumps pain and my eyes cry regret, I wish I could change it all, but they say fates' already set.
My body's angry, organs singing sadness in a quartet. Waking up every morning, hoping life was reset.
Betting on my life getting better isn't a safe bet, but looking towards evil for a good time, no I'll take a rain check.
People die, life goes on, but it's all a tragedy. The wars we face, and people we meet like sandy hook are sad to see.
you think its easy to write this and not feel broken, I've tried looking for better days but it all seems hopeless.