The Paradox Of Blessing

From sunrise to sunset
I sit in solitude stressed
If truly I'm blessed
Then why do I have to go through all these stress?
They say life's a test
I try,I cry,in my heart I die
A thousand times' nothing compared to how many times I fall
Though I give my all
The best's yet to come for me
Patience I have adopted
Desperation I forfeited
No sign of a better day coming
So much for being gifted
Can't reach inside and harness
All these talents lie fallow
I changed my ways
But they still judge you by who you follow
Should I blame the devil
Or I'm I the architect of my doom?
I dream of a higher level
But here am I stranded in gloom
I feel like shooting the preacher man
Bring that liar down
He talks about blessing daily while I roam about broke in the town
Its about making your own world
Its about being your own god
And everything else is but a bitter lesson
In the paradox of blessing