If Tears Left Scars

I sit next to you smiling so brightly,
because that is what I know you like
most about me.

In my deepest and darkest thoughts, I
watched you jealously and wish you'd only
focus so much of your attention on me and
not everyone around us.

Be selfish once and tell me you want to
be alone, just us.

Tell me to not bring another along, but
I'm too shy to really keep that from happening,
what would we find to chat about if we were
all alone?

Nothing painfully interesting for you, I'm
sure.

If the tears I had been shedding for you would
leave scars on my body like a knife, then I'd
have more to count for that reason than for any
other, but I can't tell you that.

If you knew I cried for you, could you look at
me the same way?

My ugly words on a piece of paper to describe my
emotions for you are nothing compared to how I
truly must feel in my lonely heart.

I'm so low I can't even fathom another human liking
me the way I like them, so I cut myself away before
I give them the chance to decide.

No matter how hard I try though, nothing changes in
my heart, no one could love a Monster like myself.

If tears could leave scars, perhaps I wouldn't focus
so much on the tears themselves...