wish I could cope

Ive dealt with the most, I no to be true...
I cant deal with the fact I lost you...
Everyday I wake up to see...
Alone in bed, you not with me...
I want to open up from my sleep...
you sleeping soundly in bed nice and deep...
But I awake, you nowhere near me...
I wish you here beside, close to me...
But I no you are still mad at me...
But it was my illness, can you not yet see...
Please forgive me, I ask of you this...
Please help me get out of this mess...