Soul Bruising

This is all

Because of you. Again.

My very soul is bruised.

I wanted you and I

Can't even look you

In the eyes anymore.

I should've guessed

As much. Why would I

Deserve any better than

This? Both of us know

That you barely even

Understand me at all.

My heart goes much

Deeper than you think. But,

Somehow, you've managed

To bruise my soul. And you

Must be so proud of

Yourself to have hurt me

Enough that I'd need to

Write yet another poem

About you.

You'll probably read this and

Ask me if this poem is

About you (it is) and I will try

My best to look confused

And say how I don't only

Write poetry about you.

Well, I usually do. So,

I just wanted to say that

My soul is bruised. And,

I'm not sorry, but, you

Made me unable to ever

Trust you again. I just

Can barely even sit in

That same chair again

And pretend that I'm not

Jealous of that girl you

Said was "hot." And just

Because she's a lesbian

That doesn't make it right.

That just makes me want

To cry even more then

I do now. Which is now

Technically impossible,

Since I'm already having

To muffle the sounds of

My sobs into my spiderweb

Jacket. I have to hide from

My family so they don't hear

Me and be forced to pretend

That they care even a little bit

About my pain. They don't.

You were supposed to be the

One who did care, though. You

Were going to be the one who

Wouldn't cause my pain. You

Were going to be the one.

You truly were. But now, I

Don't even know if I can look

At you and not slice up my arm.

My soul is bruised. And you,

You fucking did this to me. I wish

I could stop crying, stop writing

Poetry about how much I love/hate

You. But I can't. All I know is

This has to end. This has to be over

So I stop wasting my time. I'll

Wipe my eyes and toss these

Tears into the trash because

You aren't worth my goddamn tears

Or my goddamn time.