Nightmare

Flash backs!
Blackouts!
Both encourage the rage inside to come out!
I'm lashing out!
Screaming out!
Someone just save me from myself!

I'll just close my eyes, watch myself die on the inside.
Eyelashes flutter and blink...
I'm relapsing back into the black they call sleep.
First the warm caress of a crimson blanket
Then the comfort of my minds isolation

Drifting...
Drifting...
Fading away.
Such a sublime part of life...
Until dreams of grey creep up from behind!
Latch onto me.. suffocate me.. drown me in a new days revelation.
I can't escape this!
I can't diminish this grip!

The black keeps pulling me in!
I suffocate in Zen.. then the flashbacks surface through..
It grabs me by my sides, pulls me into the other side!

I'm delivered into a past life...
My times of immense pain and grief.
Each night a new series of events..
It's like living my life all over again
Each knick of a blade I can feel again!
Each tantalizing scream to surpass my lips..
Taking me farther... Farther back.
The only time I feel again, my time of insinuating pain.

As I awake it still feels as though its happened all over again
Grief, remorse, hatred fills my eyes...
Im wallowing in the dreams I despise...
So I look to the blade that's saved me from myself
Cut away the days of pain...
The soothing sting..
The crimson I smear on my skin...
They both depict and reflect my inner truth.

My day is eased until the flashbacks seep through...
Even when I'm awake my nightmares still seem to find a way through.