My tongue swallowing days are done.

My tongue swallowing days are over.
I'm getting far too tired.
Tired of wanting that beer
because it helps bridge the gap
between me and them.
Well, fuck all of them,
the gap is something to be proud of,
not something to hide for the comfort
of the useless fucking drunkards
that have done nothing
despite their constant pining for it.
I'm tired of wanting a cigarette
when the actuality craves the sensation
of driving a fist in to a passer by.

My tongue swallowing days are over.
My heart is being tested
and my patience has been over-stretched.
As I walked away from the gym
a few hours ago
there were tears falling from my eyes:
I have never felt this lonely.
Never before have I employed
the breathe in for 4
hold for 4
breathe out for 4
so often.

The lump in my throat has become a constant,
and fortunately it is more prominent
than just how fucking tired I am
of the grand sum of everything.
Unlike last time, I'm ready.
Almost all of this is horrible,
just sitting here now
listening to 'them' in the other room
makes me want to test the scars on my knuckles.

Maybe loneliness isn't such a bad thing
providing you can be left alone.