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Love's Morning Contemplation
Morning sun rises in the east
its soft yellow light filtering through the shades.
Your head rests on my chest,
while you face smiles in a peacful dream.
The sweet smell of your body fills up my nose.
Your body heat warms my heart.
As I lay there I watch the sun rise higher into the sky.
Watch as it loses its soft pleasant glow,
in favor of a brighter whiter shine.
Soon our day will begin, the alarm will go off
and you will finally wake.
Yet for right now all is peaceful
as we lay here together.
You in my arms my heart in your hands.
This is the way it should always be,
just you and me.
its soft yellow light filtering through the shades.
Your head rests on my chest,
while you face smiles in a peacful dream.
The sweet smell of your body fills up my nose.
Your body heat warms my heart.
As I lay there I watch the sun rise higher into the sky.
Watch as it loses its soft pleasant glow,
in favor of a brighter whiter shine.
Soon our day will begin, the alarm will go off
and you will finally wake.
Yet for right now all is peaceful
as we lay here together.
You in my arms my heart in your hands.
This is the way it should always be,
just you and me.
Published 6th Jul 2010
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8th Jul 2010 8:18am
I would write what you did slightly differently to make it less prosey - but of course there's no right or wrong way.
This line - The sweet smell of your body fills up my nose - kicked me out of the poem, so here's a quick edit.
Morning's sun rises in the east
soft yellow light
filtering through shades
your head on my chest,
smiling peaceful dreams
Your sweet scent filling the air
body heat warming my heart.
I watch the sun rise higher
losing its soft pleasant glow,
to a brighter whiter shine.
Soon our day will begin,
the alarm will go off
and you'll finally awake.
But for this moment all is peace
as we lay together
you in my arms
my heart in your hands
the way for always
~ just you, just me.
And I'd still like the alarm to do something more interesting than just 'go off'
Hope you can find something useful in there - if not feel free to ignore me.
Best ~ Abra
This line - The sweet smell of your body fills up my nose - kicked me out of the poem, so here's a quick edit.
Morning's sun rises in the east
soft yellow light
filtering through shades
your head on my chest,
smiling peaceful dreams
Your sweet scent filling the air
body heat warming my heart.
I watch the sun rise higher
losing its soft pleasant glow,
to a brighter whiter shine.
Soon our day will begin,
the alarm will go off
and you'll finally awake.
But for this moment all is peace
as we lay together
you in my arms
my heart in your hands
the way for always
~ just you, just me.
And I'd still like the alarm to do something more interesting than just 'go off'
Hope you can find something useful in there - if not feel free to ignore me.
Best ~ Abra
9th Jul 2010 5:06pm
Thanks for the advice but I wrote this from what really happened and how I really felt. To change it at all would be a lie. But thank you for the advice.
