mother

Dear mother,
I’m running out of things to liken you to
But I’ve barely scratched the surface.

In every mother’s day card, every letter and inbox
Every poem I ever wrote to you
Recited in church with a beating heart
Hoping you have the envy of other mothers
Hoping my peers are jealous, because I have the best mum.
And you, sitting there with eyes looking like glass
And a heart swelling with pride.
This is for you

For the choices you had to make
Before my first breath
For providing my daily bread.
For being the dimple on my cheek
A constant reminder that dents in our lives can make beauty
And that perfection is not flawless, but lies in
Double chins that we want to hide,
Smiles surrounded by wrinkles we call laugh lines
And jeans that don’t fit right…

So you wake me up from my late slumber
To ask me how you look, and I’d make a face
Cause you’re wearing the shoes I don’t like
And you know very well what I’m going to say.

I miss your laughter
How your eyes would water,
You’d fan yourself like a diva
Saying “I’ve never laughed so hard since ‘x’ fell of the horse”
I don’t seem to recall that name
Just like I don’t recall your touch
I only remember silk finger tips tracing lines on my face
Wiping away tears.

I only remember warm hugs and endless venting
How you fell in love with tea, and reminded me of Ouma
How beat up you looked when you woke up
Feeling like a dark cloud loomed over you.
How beautiful you looked when you woke up
With sunshine bursting out of you.
Mother, you are beautiful
Perhaps I haven’t told you that enough
From the shape of your head,
To the set of teeth I inherited.
From the scars and stretch marks
To the extra curvy parts that you are trying to ditch
Even the little toes on your feet.
Do you still paint them?
I find myself missing them
Wishing I could tease them, while you tease my fingers
And we’d laugh together
Silence would follow and linger
Hearts content at ease..
I miss

You. And your surprises.
There is no one here to make me breakfast in bed
Or randomly bring me a pair of shoes or a nice top
Or to rub puma on my chest and back
On those rare occasions that I fall sick
No one to kiss me goodnight
Or wake me up to look for
Lost shoes underneath beds..
Thinking about this on my bed
I know you’re a skype call away.
Its just that sometimes I need you here
To pop a pimple on my lip
Or complain about an unscraped pot
Or gossip about a cute guy we’d see in the streets..

Mom, may I borrow your scarf?
Don’t you want to iron my hair?
May you please put make up on my face?
I cant do it, I don’t know how..
You know which colours complement me
Because you complement me even better.
I woke up missing you in red lipstick beneath gloss
And those eyes,
Those eyes that saw past my lies and into my soul to find treasure
Thank you for investing in me
For believing in me
For letting me feel your love.
Despite the distance!
©

Love from Your One And Only Baby Girl