This Hellhole

A room full of people,
My family.
All of them smiling,
Except me.

They each have
Their own version of me;
Of whom they think I am,
Of whom I should be.

They are happy
Because they don’t know
The person
In which I grow.

I sit there
Not knowing what to say
I want them to know
But not… not today.

I don’t know
How to be strong.
I’m not part of a movie
Or a song…

I can’t tell them
Who I really am.
On my face
The door will be slammed.

And if it doesn’t
I’ll crush their dreams for me.
Other people’s suffering
Will not set me free.

Trapped in this hellhole
Is where’s I’ll be.
Suffering in my cage
For all of eternity.