Betrayed

The memory of the slim cutter that splits the skin of my forearm, wrist, leg or maybe someday neck creeps up on me again the second i walked back into this place. I thought i was healed. I thought maybe i was better now. But now i know this isn't something i can be healed of. I know now that this disease will always haunt me. It will always follow me into the dark deep places and push me down and rape my mind. This is my demon. The one that will never let go. No matter how much force i place upon him with my "abilities", he will not let up. I can't breath. I need my release. I need the pain so the pain can slowly fade away and take it all with it. Maybe one day i can find my demon and slay him. Slit his neck and slice his dick. Maybe then i will be o.k. Maybe. "Revenge is sweet but  too much of sweet can make you sick"