Limericks

There was an old whore from Nantucket
Was so ugly that no one would fuck it
She'd the face of a dog,
The voice of a frog,
And a cunt like a bill poster's bucket!
 
There once was a student from Trinity,
Who took his young sister's virginity,
He buggered his brother,
Made love to his mother,
Then took a degree in divinity
 
Whilst dealing with problems historical
The politicians asks questions rhetorical
Like what other way
Are we going to pay
Except tax to degrees quite pisspotical
 
 
A Donkey's Tale
 
The trouble with being a Ned,
Is that nothing goes on in your head,
You eat tons of grass,
Brush flies from your ass,
Work thirty-five years then your dead!
 
As relief from this perilous state,
One day I jumped over the gate,
And found a young Jen,
Alone in her pen,
And screwed her oh boy that was great
 
At the sound of our orgasmic screams,
The farmer awoke from his dreams,
He grabbed a big stick,
And beat me on the dick,
‘Til the tears filled my eyes in great streams.
 
Then it’s back to my field double quick,
The farmer still using the stick,
Tho' my cock's black and blue,  
I’ve had a good screw,
And I'd do it again in a tick!