Evil within

You did ask for honest critique, and this is mine. Just because you swore, that doesn't mean this should be under "extreme content." Also, this poem doesn't at all need to rhyme. I think it would be a lot better without the rhyme, and with more anger. Also, I don't think it improved your poem to talk about "emos." Also, your ending kinda sucks. Yes, shit does technically rhyme with sit, but you just added way to many syllables to have it make sense. This poem could be made so much better with little improvements, you just need to make them. Talk more about how you feel, what you've done (or what others have done) to make you feel like this. Do you think it's ever going to get better? I can tell you're very interested in writing, so this is just me trying to help you.

Thank you for your honest criticism, ill take your advise

I agree with Denythelove make it more about you than talking about emos it draws more attention to the evil in not just you but in others in this world because everyone has evil not just emos

well, to be fair, i am emo...