From then to now

forever watching, seeing but unknowing
tearing at my insides, the tension growing
skies have blackened, confused, i wonder aimlessly
i smell the rotten remains of death
what is this truth i am unseeing?
time passes, the sands, in open cuts, drips grain by grain,
 to a desert of disgust 
Admit though not, my fears become stronger
Unslept, unkept, this path becomes longer
to turn back now, to take her with me
into my abyss, she cannot, go alone alone i must, leave me
My thoughts embrace her, even now i taste her
eyes opened, i fear now, i watch, i listen
2 seonds is all it takes to miss them!
the signs, the warnings, the evils reflect me
i turn around i look and , alone no more, even in death, she protects me