g-d in knots....

I've evolved into a raging..numb pound of flesh,after that rainey,very poectic night that will never cease to consume me...he was perfect in every way,he wanted me..damn..really? I had dreamed of of ravaging him so many times,in so many ways..tonight he called....to see if he could  be alone with me and forget about the clock...he came..we got high ..he filled two caps of g and we smoked a little ice..time I don't recall,just ripping off our clothes and somehow in the shower..we were there for long flashes of recollection,touching every in h of wet sweetness..tasting the flavor that couldn't be quenched,he was so strong picking my lifeless,floating body onto my bed,he took full advantage of my ambitious hunger,I was not in control,my walls completely penetrated...I moaned..I growled..I swallowed as much of him as I could..in between he took short,interrupted ,breaks,...I should have fought the haze and listened to my voice,my to perfect to be perfect feelings that were screaming inside of me.  After the night became a tinge of light,he told me from the ne,t room he was leaving so I searched for my clothing,they had all became somehow tied in knots,as i frantically pulled,and tugged,and fought with myclothes,I could hear the faint sounds of many different echoes of laughter...omg..omg..fuck no was just totally mind..body..and soul fucked..the end of this story becomes the end of my realationship with myself that I will never  have sacred again....the night truely consisted of making sure I was drugged letting in his boys..letting them all feast upon my slut covered flesh..taking video of it all..getting my phone all its information..securing spy ware..copies of keys to my apartment..bugging the apartment..draining my bank accounts..and much more...making my every breath become exposed..unattainable..uncontrolled..and a fucked up lifetime movie.....today I still live in fear though I've moved..changed numbers..accounts..passwords..my whole life...fuck this shit!!!  Why???? Fucking why??????????????