Which is the happier place

 Do i really deserve this amount of pain
heads all fucked up, hearts leaking again
leaking these lines like an alphabet stream
dont really know if it was worth getting clean
at least back then i could forget being lonely
even forget that i can depend on me only
sometimes i think, it was a better life then
but do i really want to go down that road again
then theres the trouble i know it would cause
if i could only go back a few years and press pause
have a word with myself, give my head a good shake
plead with myself not to make that mistake
but hindsight they say is a wonderfull thing
but ive already fucked up virtually everything
so what do i do cos my brain's getting tired
maybe make a deal so my soul could be hired
at least then the torture and torment might stop
what the fuck am i thinking, there is no soul shop
getting more and more tired, think i will call it a night
cos it all adds up to one thing "i'm just talking shite"