deepundergroundpoetry.com

Too long

I know the promises I made
To stop hurting
To stop bleeding
Physically and emotionally
I could stick to them for a while
I could hold back the need to cut
But it came back, just as I had foretold
Twice as hard it hit, and I just couldn�t resist
I had to see myself bleed again
I wanted to feel that comforting pain
The pain that told me what I wanted to hear
Although I�m not too sure what that is
So I bled again
I disappointed again
But it hurts no more than it does to resist
It hurts no more than pain itself
That horrible pain
I don�t know where it came from
I don�t know when it came
Only that it did
And now it�s too late
It�s been too long since I saw the light
It�s been too long living in darkness
I can no longer do this
I cannot hold on anymore
I don�t want to be here
I want to disappear
I want to become what once was
But what no longer is
I want to go to dust, like the memories of a story
Those faded images that blow away
That is where comfort lies
That is where my heart hides
So I�m sorry
I just can�t be
It�s been good
Just not good enough for me.