No regrets, no blame

There will be no tears
Just a bloodstained blot on life
There is nobody there
No family
No wife
Alone to the end
Wrapped up in the grey cloak of emptiness
Yes, I loved
One more anything to the end
Did she love back?
Possibly in a different way
Not as deep
Not as committed
She does not see those fiery streaks in the sky
The shooting stars of lovers
Her heart is lost in the wilderness
Fuelled by an occasional need
Each affair not reaching too deep
Fearful of real love
Any real commitment
Fearing the pain, she once had
Never wanting to risk her heart again
There are no fights
Only the slow withdrawal back into her shell
Her safe haven
Her place where the world cannot hurt
Where love cannot penetrate
Her private wall around
The inner sanctum
There is no blame
No hook to hang any on
All that is left are the empty days
The heart that still loves
The mind that knows it is an illusion
One that it does not want to admit inside
Fearful of the future
To die alone, slowly one day at a time
How long will the heart endure
Before it finally burst in grief
Stilling a broken will
A crushed lifeless soul
A day
A week
Months or years
Each one more painfully felt than the last
Each one a bitter pill of realisation
There will be no tears
Maybe a few thoughts in passing
Regrets
A few treasured memories
Unattained dreams
Ones, which should have lasted forever
Instead just filed with the old dusty ones half forgotten
The last smile still seen
Those last words still heard
The autumn of gold tarnished
Replaced by the cold chill of eternal winter