do we build?

Do we build?
We have gotten to that place, that place no one ever wants to go to… yet they blink and find themselves there. It happened; we have gotten to that place. Kinda like a breaking point. I know how we got here but then again I am not quite sure about the details. It started out as cracks in the windows and walls. The roof began to leak, when my heart broke and fell the ground shook, then the walls crumbled and all that was left was the foundation…Do we build?
What about the skeletons hidden in my closet? The ones I would shove under my bed every time you came over. What about the dusty diaries? The ones I would fill with letters written and never delivered to you and poetry about your dark eyes, hands and heart. What about the pictures with the smiles? I look at them and they look like lies. Maybe cause your smile didn’t reach your eyes most times. Damn! Did I make you that unhappy? I used to think it was me or maybe us together. We didn’t fit right but we were magical. There was a spark but no fire. What is it that kept me chained to the past? To you? I kept on coming back, it felt like cocaine love. You were bad for me but I just had to have you. I would deny myself the pleasure of you till I couldn’t take it no more then run back to you. You would welcome me with open arms, and then we would drift apart again… a vicious cycle. Kept on going till I blew up the house we made a home with a couple of things I couldn’t change. Now this is a house with no walls or windows or doors... Just a foundation, do we build?
I keep on asking myself what it is that I want to we build? Why I want to hide behind a mask? Pretend everything is alright, that we are okay. Take the easy route out. Well... I have been thinking about my foundation, Took a look at my plans. It must be the way you made me feel safe from the monsters that scared me most of my life. All that we have been through. That’s why I wanted to build with you. But we didn’t make it through. You began to build without me... And I could not settle on a design, I just lay the first brick. Slow to rebuild what has been broken down. I took my sweet time to build the perfect place for one. Had my heart hidden in the safe, behind the painting in the panic room that was underground, so many chains on that door to the room that hides a chained, masked monster?
I had gotten to that place. Where being alone wasn’t so lonely. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My beast becomes a beauty. We built our beauties… just not together. .  How is your beauty doing?  I know how we got here but then again I am not quite sure about the details. Non the less.. we live on.