deepundergroundpoetry.com
Death herself
Under every sun,
Death admires you.
The abyss of her eyes,
Full of horrible thoughts.
In your conditions,
and laughable humanity,
Death only observes
Irony in your insanity!
Her dress exaggerated,
Her eyes,
Made of deep emptiness.
Her darkened elegance,
The unnamed human frame.
Death admires you.
The abyss of her eyes,
Full of horrible thoughts.
In your conditions,
and laughable humanity,
Death only observes
Irony in your insanity!
Her dress exaggerated,
Her eyes,
Made of deep emptiness.
Her darkened elegance,
The unnamed human frame.
Published 11th Oct 2012
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 2
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Oct 2012 5:36pm
This is dark. I like dark.
All that aside I think this is really interesting, though I think it needs more. There is a lot that can be explored here, and the final line just feels like it should have a stanza or two after it. Maybe I just really like what I am reading and want to read more.
I would say that switching up the length of the stanza was a interesting choice. I am not sure yet whether it is helpful or more confusing. Maybe the last two stanzas could be combined?
Either way I want to see more. Great work.
All that aside I think this is really interesting, though I think it needs more. There is a lot that can be explored here, and the final line just feels like it should have a stanza or two after it. Maybe I just really like what I am reading and want to read more.
I would say that switching up the length of the stanza was a interesting choice. I am not sure yet whether it is helpful or more confusing. Maybe the last two stanzas could be combined?
Either way I want to see more. Great work.
16th Oct 2012 3:34am
