eyes

i see you
pain is clearly written on your face
yet no one but me seems to notice
you look my way but i move my head away
you glance away when i steal a glance towards you
i know what the world is
its full of people with pain in every step
i can't help but cringe everytime someone looks
i move away and act cold and distant
why must you act like this
thoughts race around my head
being paranoid about others' thoughts isn't fun
being insane isn't something anyone would like
i want to fight them off but it never works
i see the struggle everyone goes through
but im not laughing like those gone completely
don't smile like those that seem creepy
i want to crawl in a hole and die somewhere
completely forgotten and no one there to see me
no one to point out my failures and mistakes
no one to point out my mishaps and shortcomings
no one to point out my weaknesses and strenghts
no one to point out my bravery and heroics
no one to point out my miseries and sorrows
to point out the obvious and plain
the happiness and the death of it
the naiveness and stupidity
optimism and pessimism
rather i would want you to remember me
you with the pain in your heart
the pain in your soul
the pain in your breaths
the pain in your eyes
as a person who tried their hardest to succeed
tried so vainly to abolish their sins
wash away the slate clean
start a new leaf
but my branches are so withered
so dead and void of life
rotten and dehydrated
crusted and broken
i want you to be able to know me
to take your time and listen to this story
maybe i should write it down
peoples eyes will absorb the naked truth
turn away and sulk in a corner
forget aboutn it Monday morning
i want those eyes to see the truth
instead of a faceless boy
who acted cold and insecure
who threw sanity for control
threw normality for existance
acceptance for understanding
I WANT YOU TO SEE!!!!!!!!!!
instead of judge by the cover
forget to pick up the book and get to know
the true story behind the suicide
the facts about his life
instead of looking at the hollow body
look at the squirming insides
flinch from the obvious brutality
symphatize with the story
i want nothing else
but for your eyes
to truly get to know me.....