deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dare you....
A dark line
drawing it over your back...
Drawing pictures,
that would show you more of me
I use my razor
to draw fine lines.
Little lines on my wrist
shadowing my pain...
if you thought you knew me
if you ever thought you would care.
Look at me now
tell me you still love me,
tell me you still care...
I knew you didnt care about me
how could i ever think you would?
O... wait!
you see that razor...
I DARE YOU TO SLIT MY WRISTS....
drawing it over your back...
Drawing pictures,
that would show you more of me
I use my razor
to draw fine lines.
Little lines on my wrist
shadowing my pain...
if you thought you knew me
if you ever thought you would care.
Look at me now
tell me you still love me,
tell me you still care...
I knew you didnt care about me
how could i ever think you would?
O... wait!
you see that razor...
I DARE YOU TO SLIT MY WRISTS....
Published 9th Oct 2012
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9th Oct 2012 3:16pm
I think you can do more with this. Maybe add some metaphor. Try to engage the senses. There are a lot of sickening smells that can accompany a piece like this.
My ex, she keeps telling me the same thing as this poem. As a person on the other side, there is a great deal of pain when you realize that you cannot help anymore. And a great deal of love.
My ex, she keeps telling me the same thing as this poem. As a person on the other side, there is a great deal of pain when you realize that you cannot help anymore. And a great deal of love.
9th Oct 2012 8:59pm
