deepundergroundpoetry.com
Would you?
Let me walk with you through the stormy desert,
where I can wipe away your tears,
where I can hug you and protect you,
Just hold my hand; I promise I will never let go...
Let me walk you on sunny fields of gray,
where trees are dancing and birds are singing,
where we can take away each others' breath
Lay a kiss, So gentle... So sweet...
Let me walk a mile with you under the moon beam,
where I could feel you and caress you,
Where I could see your beauty like the stars at night,
Staring at each other, Oh love at sight...
To hug you and protect you...
To kiss you and caress you...
To look at you and to love you...
That's what I've been dreaming of..
Would you??
where I can wipe away your tears,
where I can hug you and protect you,
Just hold my hand; I promise I will never let go...
Let me walk you on sunny fields of gray,
where trees are dancing and birds are singing,
where we can take away each others' breath
Lay a kiss, So gentle... So sweet...
Let me walk a mile with you under the moon beam,
where I could feel you and caress you,
Where I could see your beauty like the stars at night,
Staring at each other, Oh love at sight...
To hug you and protect you...
To kiss you and caress you...
To look at you and to love you...
That's what I've been dreaming of..
Would you??
Published 9th Oct 2012
| Edited 27th Mar 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 1073
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Oct 2012 9:08am
There's a classic feel to your piece; the opening immediately introduces a sad feel, more like a heartbreak-
"Let me walk with you through the stormy desert,
where I can wipe away your tears",
those lines were wonderful and I love it,
But the whole theme got me confused as I tried to decide which you convey; a heartbreak, a wish or some memorable times.
So many great lines in your piece though and I did enjoy them after all.
"Let me walk with you through the stormy desert,
where I can wipe away your tears",
those lines were wonderful and I love it,
But the whole theme got me confused as I tried to decide which you convey; a heartbreak, a wish or some memorable times.
So many great lines in your piece though and I did enjoy them after all.
9th Oct 2012 1:05pm
thanks for the crit.. this is actually a wish and some sort of promise if she will choose to love me.. :D thsnks again ossy I appreciate your feedback :D
27th Oct 2012 3:56pm
it seems you really care for this person very much. enjoyed the flow!
27th Oct 2012 11:33pm
Thanks for reading my poem wendell.. and thanks for the comment :D Highly appreciated ;)
2nd Nov 2012 5:09pm
3rd Nov 2012 10:10am
29th Jan 2013 4:04pm
YES I WOULD!!!!!
Sweets that was awesome!!!
Great read and write!!!
Nice flow, I'm impressed!!!
Sir Lancelott
Sweets that was awesome!!!
Great read and write!!!
Nice flow, I'm impressed!!!
Sir Lancelott
4th Feb 2013 4:17pm
