deepundergroundpoetry.com
You changed things.
I'm living in a lie
pretending that everything is fine
like nothing bad has ever happened in my life
I put on a smile when i put my makeup on
i paint my face so no one will see what's wrong
trying to be perfect because i'm feeling the opposite
And Holding on to you so desperately
because every other man's been mean to me
And I can't help how I feel
Because I feel like shit
I don't want to feel this way but i'm not afraid of voicing it
I give myself chances to live another day
because i'm scared what will happen if i take my life away
But i'm not going to lie i've seriously thought of it before
But the thing is... i think of you more.
pretending that everything is fine
like nothing bad has ever happened in my life
I put on a smile when i put my makeup on
i paint my face so no one will see what's wrong
trying to be perfect because i'm feeling the opposite
And Holding on to you so desperately
because every other man's been mean to me
And I can't help how I feel
Because I feel like shit
I don't want to feel this way but i'm not afraid of voicing it
I give myself chances to live another day
because i'm scared what will happen if i take my life away
But i'm not going to lie i've seriously thought of it before
But the thing is... i think of you more.
Published 3rd Oct 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
4th Oct 2012 8:23am
Really interesting. I like the twisted thinking that tends to come along with being in string of bad relationships. Try working on adding some more metaphor and imagery. I think its your strong suite, and would help add content to your message.
2nd Nov 2012 3:21am
I thought you had an interesting perception of life and love. I say love because it did not really feel like it involved love until the last few lines. The beginning talks about people in general who have a facade, and portray themselves as something their not. I think you did a good job, but I think you can do better.
