I look at myself

I look at myself
I see what I have done
I see someone I don’t want to be
I see the hurt and pain
I see despair
I see degust
I see hatred to towards my own self

Then I close my eyes
You are there
I see who I want to be
I see what we were
I see who I should have been
Your wife
Your love
Your everything
As you are to me

I cannot eat
I don’t want to eat
I cannot think
I don’t want to think
I cannot feel
I don’t want to feel
As I feel the darkness
Hatred for my own self

I feel the loss
Of us
Of what should have been