rediscovery

a haunting melody
now stuck in my head
the one i keep hearing
while i lie here in bed
it’s a crashing crescendo
in all minor keys
clashing so harshly
inside of me
you’re a frustrating earwig
that i must to dig out
and toss in the sink
as I turn on the spout
i wash you away
let you slip down the drain
but still in my mind
i hear your refrain
each word that you speak
sets my mind whirling
thoughts rushing round
twisted and twirling
off balance, off kilter
off my rocker, i fear
but i can’t get your damn voice
out of my ear
the music’s disjointed
as you sing the chorus
“stop looking at trees!
you’re missing the forest!”
now my brain’s all aflutter
my gut tied in a knot
how did you ever
sneak into that spot?
that spot in my psyche
that place where i hide
the parts of myself
i keep buried inside
under my wisecracks
under sarcasm
in a black hole
a bottomless chasm
you reached down inside
plucked up bloody rocks
made me rethink things
made me take stock
but what’s really there
does it really matter?
is this anything more
than meaningless chatter
all this chattering claptrap
all this cute innuendo
are you so arrogant to think
you’ve opened some  window?
think you’ve crawled into my soul
and laid it all bare
how can you really think
you see all that is there?
a loaded question, i know
and most likely not fair
but the big question is
do i really care?
of course i don’t!
of course i do!
just wish i knew
which answer’s true
you tell me to sing
rediscover my voice
then take a step back
and leave me no choice
but to flounder about
and muddle along
desperate to recall
the words to a song
a song i once sang
back in my youth
a song about honesty
meaning and truth
a song that faith sings
when gone is all hope
a song that ties knots
in the end of the rope
so fucked up i must be
to lose all my words
but somehow you still knew
somehow you still heard
this meaning in chaos
this silence in sound
but then i could too
i suddenly found…
now at the edge of a cliff
a new kind of panic
looking here looking there
totally fucking frantic
i need some paper
i need a pen
because i think i can hear
my song once again