Lyrical Suicide

Raw thoughts. This is all that I've been left with.

Sifting through inquisition in a self-perpetuating labriynth.

Broken down to purest form, emotions begin to spill.

Anticipating poison corroded veins, my blood stands still.

This pain has not changed, although the interpretation has evolved.

Still, it's always been manic-depressive paranoia, around which my life has revolved.

I refuse the right to try to forget; that option I no longer need.

So many medications conflicting one another, regression was an inevitability.

Lithium for Bi-polar, Adderall for ADHD.

But the bi-polar only got worse cause the Adderall wouldn't let me sleep.

So to fix my insomnia I was given Sequel, 900 Mg's a night.

But it left me so drugged irritation came quick, and only compounded my bi-polar fight!

Now life was beginning to get me down, all I wanted was the meds to end.

Instead I got "Zoloft! The mood enhancing stabilizer! My new best friend......."

These words to me are sickening; it almost hurts to let them out.

This is less than the equivalent of crying for help, intending to be let down.

My cancer represses it's cure, sensibility just doesn't make sense.

These tired hands are soon to see blood with all the sins I must repent.

Forgiving in nature, relentless in fight, my mind is cold glock steel.

My words are the bullets, hollow and precise, to ensure the fact that they kill.

Mighty are those that fall short of grace, "eternal damnation for your everlasting soul".

Freedom isn't free when hiding in the light. There's a price to be paid to your demon in toll.

Realizing myself misguided, I confide in a new fashion of false.

Intoxicated with the disillusion of hope, I again suffocate the pulse.

    My life is desperation.

I am pouring out my heart.

    Unrelenting pain is my  inspiration.

To make my death my art.........