deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sin
I want to die of your hand
defeated...
I want to pass away like this
fall form your blade.
Only then I could be your sin.
defeated...
I want to pass away like this
fall form your blade.
Only then I could be your sin.
Published 22nd Sep 2012
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23rd Sep 2012 6:44am
2nd Dec 2012 6:53am
Lenore
decent enough short one. I'd change it a tad to something like this:
I want to die of your hand
defeated...
(excellent lines btw)
I want to pass away like this
fall from your blade.
Only then can I be your sin
not sure you need the ellipses after defeated.
anyhow solid stuff. nice one
decent enough short one. I'd change it a tad to something like this:
I want to die of your hand
defeated...
(excellent lines btw)
I want to pass away like this
fall from your blade.
Only then can I be your sin
not sure you need the ellipses after defeated.
anyhow solid stuff. nice one
5th Dec 2012 00:32am
Thanks, your version's not bad, I think I just need to work on my english ;P
