jewelry

The ending is off to me. Just seems lacking

Fair enough, I will ponder how to un-off, un-lack the ending... Thank ya kindly my dear

I get it, lightbaron...shed a bit more light and it will be brighter!

Strider :)

Well...either you are suggesting a way to grasp the item im describing,or offering support on the possible off and lacking ending....any which way, much appreciation sir

It's fine as it is. The little ball grabber.

At first I thought maybe a little too simple but the core of these poems is in it brevity and provocation.
Love the contradiction in the clarity which is probably what sits you on the trains of thought going different ways.
Miss these kind of poems. Takes a great idea to be so short and concise and the ending should always leave you hanging; which it does nicely.

Had my suspicions...thank ya kindly Mr.A

Thank you kindly A for reading and offering your take...certainly a slice of what i intended

or the single moment apocalypse
of a shared glance

A whooooole relationship, in one smouldering look. Othertimes it's just a looooong conversation, without a word spoken. Married woman in line at the bank. Stranger in traffic. Bailiff in the courtroom.

Bob Seger's Travelling Man "Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul." that stomach-feeling? That's what this one is. It's complete.

Anyone who thinks that it's too succinct?
They suck when they drink.
I promise you without fear they cry into their beer.
You're remembering everything without fear.
No face needs more than a glance to be graced.
And yet you hold the whole span of RAM in one hand and see the crystal like it's the last wishful playlist that will stay and glisten into mist when this life dismisses? The piece is complete. Complete and good, homes.

Thanks as always for the thoughtful words

intresting

Thank you IC