deepundergroundpoetry.com
What's the point
What's the point of a coffee
To show you that I care
What's the point of a flower
To show you what you mean
What's the point of any of this
When you mean to show that you don't care
Is it that I read you wrong
In the hours that we share
Is it the attention that you love
In the words I write for you
Is it? What is it that you won't say
Its there, I know you care, all you have to do is share
To show you that I care
What's the point of a flower
To show you what you mean
What's the point of any of this
When you mean to show that you don't care
Is it that I read you wrong
In the hours that we share
Is it the attention that you love
In the words I write for you
Is it? What is it that you won't say
Its there, I know you care, all you have to do is share
Published 9th Sep 2012
| Edited 18th Nov 2012
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Anonymous
14th Nov 2012 8:48am
This poem has a potential there. It could be a longer poem perhaps to give it somewhat more depth. In my opinion it would read better with at least one more stanza
18th Nov 2012 5:07am
Thanks for that.
Most of the short ones are written on my phone and are not, but should be given a chance to develop. Have added one more like you suggested.
Most of the short ones are written on my phone and are not, but should be given a chance to develop. Have added one more like you suggested.
25th Sep 2013 2:07pm
I think this is pretty good being short. While there is room to develop it, it's not really necessary. The petite style gives a metaphorical representation of the short relationship, the one-sidedness and allows for punchy power rather than drawn out emotions (:
