deepundergroundpoetry.com
place-holder
Come a little closer
and whisper those three little words in my ear
those three little words that you undoubtedly
whispered to your last failed conquest
in search of everlasting love
Remember when you said
that I was the one?
Remember when you whispered
those three glorious little words
into my soul?
Before you smacked them out of me
with the back of your hand
as though I was as insignificant
as a mosquito on a wall
All those pretty girls
you know they won’t fill up your soul
with the treasures you desire most
while I fill the spaces in between
one girl and the next
to be cast aside
when your next “true love”
comes along
Remember when
it used to be me
you shared those three little words with?
Before I became the girl in between.
© Indie Adams 2012
and whisper those three little words in my ear
those three little words that you undoubtedly
whispered to your last failed conquest
in search of everlasting love
Remember when you said
that I was the one?
Remember when you whispered
those three glorious little words
into my soul?
Before you smacked them out of me
with the back of your hand
as though I was as insignificant
as a mosquito on a wall
All those pretty girls
you know they won’t fill up your soul
with the treasures you desire most
while I fill the spaces in between
one girl and the next
to be cast aside
when your next “true love”
comes along
Remember when
it used to be me
you shared those three little words with?
Before I became the girl in between.
© Indie Adams 2012
Published 5th Sep 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 10
reads 943
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Sep 2012 1:25pm
Indie:)
Your writing always appeals to me bc you speak so much truth; raw and unbridled in such a way that one is left floored. most times i dont/cant comment bc i usual dont have the time to dissect & detail my every thought (like AliP or Sumeet :p LOL) its tragic actually bc time elude me---- apart from that :
i loved it. Nowadays this is exactly the case. It's evident that the men to women ratio is way off. too many women and not enough men and too many men wanting more than one woman; stringing the lot around like we're merely playthings. Fillers .. as you say.. place-holders for a period of time when THEY feel you have the right to fill that space and THEY decide the duration of our stay. Although.. hmm..I think it's way more than just those factors but i wish they weren't as harsh as they're with handling our hearts/feelings. Most are pretty brutal these days-- crass and dismissive.
[rubix]
Your writing always appeals to me bc you speak so much truth; raw and unbridled in such a way that one is left floored. most times i dont/cant comment bc i usual dont have the time to dissect & detail my every thought (like AliP or Sumeet :p LOL) its tragic actually bc time elude me---- apart from that :
i loved it. Nowadays this is exactly the case. It's evident that the men to women ratio is way off. too many women and not enough men and too many men wanting more than one woman; stringing the lot around like we're merely playthings. Fillers .. as you say.. place-holders for a period of time when THEY feel you have the right to fill that space and THEY decide the duration of our stay. Although.. hmm..I think it's way more than just those factors but i wish they weren't as harsh as they're with handling our hearts/feelings. Most are pretty brutal these days-- crass and dismissive.
[rubix]
5th Sep 2012 11:57pm
Thank you Rubix for taking the time to bare your soul :)
Sadly it's not just men that lack any respect, women lack respect for themselves and for other women.
Glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks again for your lovely comment and stopping by. Much appreciated.
Peace, Indie
Sadly it's not just men that lack any respect, women lack respect for themselves and for other women.
Glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks again for your lovely comment and stopping by. Much appreciated.
Peace, Indie
5th Sep 2012 4:30pm
Now that poetry, putting words and everyday emotion into one big ball of passion. I love the way you let free of your imagination
5th Sep 2012 11:57pm
Thank you so much TDK for your lovely comment, much appreciated. :D
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
5th Sep 2012 10:35pm
Is is appropriate to just leave the word "Fuckdamn" hanging there, instead of a real review? (Pretending that fuckdamn is a word, of course.)
Just a whole barrage of little sucker punches throughout.
It was like... readreadread PUNCH (with the back of your hand) readreadPUNCH (pretty girls) readSMACK(used be me)
SO GOOD!
The 'fuck-you-ness' of this is awesome.
Betty
Just a whole barrage of little sucker punches throughout.
It was like... readreadread PUNCH (with the back of your hand) readreadPUNCH (pretty girls) readSMACK(used be me)
SO GOOD!
The 'fuck-you-ness' of this is awesome.
Betty
6th Sep 2012 00:02am
"Fuckdamn" is awesome! lol. Seriously, you give the best comments.
So glad you loved this one and all it's "fuck-you-ness"
Peace, Indie
So glad you loved this one and all it's "fuck-you-ness"
Peace, Indie
6th Sep 2012 2:55am
6th Sep 2012 3:11am
They have indeed. Thank you for your kind words Dr L, glad you enjoyed. :)
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
7th Sep 2012 4:20pm
This write is so perfectly titled, even 'place-holder' adds something substantial to the feeling bared here. It's sad but beautiful Indie.
8th Sep 2012 1:37am
Thank you very much Scattered Thoughts for your lovely feedback. It is indeed sad but true. I'm glad you enjoyed and that the title works aptly in this piece. :)
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
