deepundergroundpoetry.com
Where I Reside
The dead of night surrounds me in a blanket of comfort
The stars shine down upon me with a halo of blessings
Yet inside of me I cannot tell who I am anymore.
I have loved unconditionally.
It was a fleeting feeling strong as a mountain
Yet fragile as a leaf
I lost something and someone more precious to me than any rare gem could ever be.
Words, no matter how extravagant can express just what she mean to me.
My heart beat for them.
My mind was never off of them.
The sun rose for me to see them
And set so the next day could come where I could hold them in my arms again.
I loved her with all my being
My heart belonged to her
And my body was hers to bring her what pleasures I could.
Yet here I am three years later and the love I held for her has not yet even begun to fade.
I rode in a grey area for a while trying to keep ahead of the darkness that has always haunted me.
Then in the last year I fell into that darkness.
Keeping a smile on my face and a bright demeanor gets harder by the day.
Yet here I sit in the midst of a light that I didn’t know existed.
It shines in front of me like a beacon
Telling me that I can come out of the darkness.
Yet as appealing as the light is the darkness is like a dear old friend.
I want to feel again.
But the numbness defends me from myself and the guilt the racks me when I try to feel again.
Which will prevail?
The darkness I know so well.
It keeps me company when I have no one that understands
Or the light that I have been gone from for far too long
It has shown me the joys of life and what it means to live for something other than yourself.
My wish is to be happy and come back into the light of life.
Though you cannot have light without darkness nor darkness with out light.
In the end how different can they be?
A determination broken by years of pain.
A light snuffed by a suffocating darkness
Hope is slim
Faith is no more.
I am stirring
My heart is awakening
What do I do?
The light is too painful
Yet who knows in the end light may prevail over my darkness
I hope that is the case
For my heart cannot take the weight that has been place upon it.
Let the Light come find me.
For Darkness is where I reside.
The stars shine down upon me with a halo of blessings
Yet inside of me I cannot tell who I am anymore.
I have loved unconditionally.
It was a fleeting feeling strong as a mountain
Yet fragile as a leaf
I lost something and someone more precious to me than any rare gem could ever be.
Words, no matter how extravagant can express just what she mean to me.
My heart beat for them.
My mind was never off of them.
The sun rose for me to see them
And set so the next day could come where I could hold them in my arms again.
I loved her with all my being
My heart belonged to her
And my body was hers to bring her what pleasures I could.
Yet here I am three years later and the love I held for her has not yet even begun to fade.
I rode in a grey area for a while trying to keep ahead of the darkness that has always haunted me.
Then in the last year I fell into that darkness.
Keeping a smile on my face and a bright demeanor gets harder by the day.
Yet here I sit in the midst of a light that I didn’t know existed.
It shines in front of me like a beacon
Telling me that I can come out of the darkness.
Yet as appealing as the light is the darkness is like a dear old friend.
I want to feel again.
But the numbness defends me from myself and the guilt the racks me when I try to feel again.
Which will prevail?
The darkness I know so well.
It keeps me company when I have no one that understands
Or the light that I have been gone from for far too long
It has shown me the joys of life and what it means to live for something other than yourself.
My wish is to be happy and come back into the light of life.
Though you cannot have light without darkness nor darkness with out light.
In the end how different can they be?
A determination broken by years of pain.
A light snuffed by a suffocating darkness
Hope is slim
Faith is no more.
I am stirring
My heart is awakening
What do I do?
The light is too painful
Yet who knows in the end light may prevail over my darkness
I hope that is the case
For my heart cannot take the weight that has been place upon it.
Let the Light come find me.
For Darkness is where I reside.
Published 2nd Sep 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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26th Nov 2013 11:52pm
I'm not being sex racist,but for a guy to expose vulnerability,love and pain at this level,I have to admit you're one of the bravest "men" I have ever met :')
10th Dec 2013 7:33am
It's the easiest way to reflect on what I am going through I maybe one day my writing can cast a light on someone else's problems and give them the little push they need to continue. If a man doesn't express both the good and bad in himself then no one will know who he really is. :) thank you for the compliment too. It's very appreciated.
