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Midnight Fantasy
Peering through darkness
Blue eyes lock with mine
I see lips forming words through the intricate swirls of smoke
Their meaning lost in all the noise
Music so loud, so sweet, so familiar it invades my body easily
I move with you, towards you, for you
Now move for me
Let these vibrations pull the strings
Just let the music take full control
Bedroom eyes look into me
So that I may catch a glimpse of what the night entails
you pull me into your place
Clothes flying through the air in haste
Fingers exploring, lips touching, sucking tongues, hips in motion
Residual influence of the music's possession over us
This feels so real but it's like I'm dreaming
Hips grinding back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core
Nothing has ever felt so inviting as this
The night's still young but I'm not done and I'm still numb from pure ecstasy
I'm out of breath and feel your breasts pressed against my chest
Just one more time
Push
Pull
Don't
Stop
Keep
Going
I'm
Tensing up
Building up to
Sweet release
God, baby I'm home
Coming down and relaxing back into cool soaked sheets
I hope to do this all again some time
Don't keep me waiting
Please don't keep me waiting too long
Blue eyes lock with mine
I see lips forming words through the intricate swirls of smoke
Their meaning lost in all the noise
Music so loud, so sweet, so familiar it invades my body easily
I move with you, towards you, for you
Now move for me
Let these vibrations pull the strings
Just let the music take full control
Bedroom eyes look into me
So that I may catch a glimpse of what the night entails
you pull me into your place
Clothes flying through the air in haste
Fingers exploring, lips touching, sucking tongues, hips in motion
Residual influence of the music's possession over us
This feels so real but it's like I'm dreaming
Hips grinding back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core
Nothing has ever felt so inviting as this
The night's still young but I'm not done and I'm still numb from pure ecstasy
I'm out of breath and feel your breasts pressed against my chest
Just one more time
Push
Pull
Don't
Stop
Keep
Going
I'm
Tensing up
Building up to
Sweet release
God, baby I'm home
Coming down and relaxing back into cool soaked sheets
I hope to do this all again some time
Don't keep me waiting
Please don't keep me waiting too long
Written by
TrippyScarecrow
(David Frank II)
Published 30th Aug 2012
| Edited 9th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 17
reads 1244
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Midnight Fantasy
31st Aug 2012 8:19pm
I feel so much what you write that I am carried away and at a loss for words by the journeys end.
Thank you for your writing.
Thank you for your writing.
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
31st Aug 2012 8:39pm
Re: Midnight Fantasy
31st Aug 2012 9:22pm
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
31st Aug 2012 9:26pm
Thank you very much. I was trying really hard to make this appear dream like and almost as though it could be a music video of some sort.
Re: Midnight Fantasy
Anonymous
1st Sep 2012 3:25am
So visual,great read:)
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
1st Sep 2012 4:06pm
Re: Midnight Fantasy
1st Sep 2012 11:22pm
Re: Midnight Fantasy
5th Sep 2012 7:03pm
Re: Midnight Fantasy
3rd Oct 2012 4:54am
I loved this piece, I've shared this on my twitter page, hope that that doesn't rouse any problems. I loved the flanbuyant words, the depth, the emotion and passion emoted. Great write
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
5th Oct 2012 7:55am
Oh not at all. In fact I thank you for sharing it with others. It means a lot to know that some one likes my writing to the point where they want to share it with others.
Re: Midnight Fantasy
11th Dec 2012 7:32am
I love your use of weaving the music throughout. Very sweet and sensual. Plays at my strings for sure.
Honey <3
Honey <3
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
11th Dec 2012 7:51pm
Ah thank you very much for the read and critique. Your opinion on this type of poem is greatly appreciated.
Dave
Dave
Re: Midnight Fantasy
11th Dec 2012 8:32pm
Great reading!!
Bedroom eyes look into me
"So that I may catch a glimpse of what the night entails"
"Residual influence of the music's possession over us
This feels so real but it's like I'm dreaming
Hips swinging back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core "--IF I had to pick some favorite lines these would be the top runners!! GrLoved it!
Bedroom eyes look into me
"So that I may catch a glimpse of what the night entails"
"Residual influence of the music's possession over us
This feels so real but it's like I'm dreaming
Hips swinging back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core "--IF I had to pick some favorite lines these would be the top runners!! GrLoved it!
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
11th Dec 2012 9:02pm
Re: Midnight Fantasy
Wow, very erotic! I'm not used to critiquing erotic pieces, but I'll do my best for you, though it needs very little. This poem had great flow, it was very easy on the eyes and I appreciate rhyme in a poem when it's used sporadically, not constantly. This poem had just enough to sweeten it up.
Okay, time to get down and dirty ;):
"Hips swinging back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core"
What?? Haha, this seemeda bit "off" to me, but maybe I read it wrong. When I'm having sex, my hips don't swing "back and forth" but I guess it works here, just felt odd to me.
"Nothing has ever felt so inviting like this"
perhaps change "like" to "as"
That's all the critique I have for this piece, thanks for sharing it.
AlwaysCaliban
Okay, time to get down and dirty ;):
"Hips swinging back and forth and taking me in deeper to your core"
What?? Haha, this seemeda bit "off" to me, but maybe I read it wrong. When I'm having sex, my hips don't swing "back and forth" but I guess it works here, just felt odd to me.
"Nothing has ever felt so inviting like this"
perhaps change "like" to "as"
That's all the critique I have for this piece, thanks for sharing it.
AlwaysCaliban
0
re: Re: Midnight Fantasy
9th Jan 2013 11:10pm
Oh yeah okay. I should change like to as. I should also probably change swinging to grinding. She's supposed to be grind me and taking me in deeper, not swinging haha. Thanks for the critique.
Re: Midnight Fantasy
9th Jan 2013 11:12pm