deepundergroundpoetry.com
Life is a Box of Chocolates (not sure its finished, would love input)
If my life is a box of chocolates
I hope i can think outside of the box
There a good chocolates, creamy milk chocolate, crunchy nuts, gooey carmel
And then there is the god awful fruity berry crap that questions everything
Why is that in the same box as chocolate?
I want chocolate
I bought CHOCOLATE
Not strawberry, coconut combo paste that infection the se-rounding chocolate
Who even thought of that?.. coconut and strawberry
It doesn't belong
It makes me feel like i wasted my time and money
To think one thing in life could go as planned!
Now i'm stuck here with an half empty box and strawberry crap that's called "chocolate"
Which is my life
I hope i can think outside of the box
There a good chocolates, creamy milk chocolate, crunchy nuts, gooey carmel
And then there is the god awful fruity berry crap that questions everything
Why is that in the same box as chocolate?
I want chocolate
I bought CHOCOLATE
Not strawberry, coconut combo paste that infection the se-rounding chocolate
Who even thought of that?.. coconut and strawberry
It doesn't belong
It makes me feel like i wasted my time and money
To think one thing in life could go as planned!
Now i'm stuck here with an half empty box and strawberry crap that's called "chocolate"
Which is my life
Published 27th Aug 2012
| Edited 4th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
28th Aug 2012 2:16am
that awkward moment when you have to stab the bottoms of every chocloate in the box to see which ones you like then put the gros ones back like nothing ever happened:3.....anyway i loved it dear XD
28th Aug 2012 2:16am
that awkward moment when you have to stab the bottoms of every chocloate in the box to see which ones you like then put the gros ones back like nothing ever happened:3.....anyway i loved it dear XD
28th Aug 2012 2:26am
4th Jan 2013 6:45am
It's interesting to note that the word "offal"--as you say "god offal fruity berry crap" in line 4, actually means either edible internal organs, or something thrown away. You probably meant "god awful" though.
Wow. You really feel that way about the fruit-filled and coconut ones? Hmmm...
It's interesting to note that nuts and caramel are not chocolate, either.
So...what are your feelings towards real dark chocolate--like--70, 80, 90 percent pure cacao?
Wow. You really feel that way about the fruit-filled and coconut ones? Hmmm...
It's interesting to note that nuts and caramel are not chocolate, either.
So...what are your feelings towards real dark chocolate--like--70, 80, 90 percent pure cacao?
4th Jan 2013 6:51am
So...you're saying here that your life is like a box of chocolates, and you want to "think outside the box," because the box is full of questioning thoughts that simply muck everything up? If that's the case, it was communicated pretty well in the first 4 lines, but after that it just got completely drowned out by your ravings against the fruity and coconut ones. The piece really became more about your feelings about assorted chocolates then about your questioning mind.
4th Jan 2013 6:55am
Um...it's interesting to note what the word "impute" means, as that's what you're saying you would love in the title to this piece. I know you're asking for "input," not "impute," but you might want to look up what "impute" actually means.
4th Jan 2013 8:40pm
Wow I love to write, really enjoy it, it's actually a relatively new thing for me, but all through school I hated grammer and spelling. As you can tell by my work I probably should have payed more attention because it's holding me back now....lol
....awful gosh I can't believe I spelled that one wrong what was I thinking?
....awful gosh I can't believe I spelled that one wrong what was I thinking?
Oh and I see what you mean I knew when I published that I started out with good communication with my little encryptions but I got a little carried away thats why I asked for input.
And I have tried 75% little too bitter for me
And you should hear my rant on sprinkles (I'm not a fan)
And I have tried 75% little too bitter for me
And you should hear my rant on sprinkles (I'm not a fan)
