the sad truth

I like to talk about the life I have lead
It is a wonder that I’m not dead
As a child I always wanted more
But life became one big chore
I tried to cope from day to day
But things just never went my way
I have swallowed bottles of pills
Just not enough so it would kill
I have often hoped my life would end
Spent time in a hospital so that would mend
Most of my life was in hyper drive
Had to take drugs just to survive
I have been through ups and downs
Even tried living in other towns
I have found where ever you go
Life can go high or life can go low
I have been married, there has been three
But number four will never be
I have a not so manly side
Many times have sat and cried
My goal has become very clear
It is to make it just one more year
So from day to day I live my life
One step from cutting myself with a knife
If people I know knew how I felt
They would try to change the hand I was dealt
But when it comes down to me
Who I am isn’t always what you see