Midnight Mass

 Dying in the city street.
There’s no one left for me to meet,
no one here while the city sleeps
and wipes away the tear stained streaks
bind with road on empty asphalt
and painted lines broken in pieces
with pock marked smooth
entertaining metal fleeces.

Barren now these shells of alloy,
safest made for a five star grade,
could not save the people from what awaited,
the human race knew they were perforated
but nobody knew that it could happen,
and now here we are in the cold
being rained on by our broken dreams.

I wish that you could see this
solidarity bids an unforgiving charity,
as I walk on in unfit gloom
I was set to it, untimely doom
that is hell for me but not for another,
everyone’s hell is a different place,
where we wander on for days on end,
tortured in a bitter blend
of loneliness and regret.

Regret-
Regret-

Obtuse emotion slain!
Should be slain with laughter-
Should be slain with distain-
As I regret all that I have and have not and will not have,
regret for what I have done and will do and will not do,
because life itself is unsatisfactory,
the people in our life are what make it a tragedy-
are the reason why we are all so melancholy,
and the reason of genre
our pitiful little life is not a comedy,
only to the man upstairs
as he fills my heart with fear and hatred.
As I fill with the feeling of being alive-
I remember that it is the worst thing to feel.
I have nobody to share with my fear or hatred,
nobody to heal my regret and walk on with me in elated fashion
so these streets no longer absorb my weakness,
and my loneliness is no longer a symbol of my meekness.

The buildings reflect myself.
The windows are not whole.
but shards of what they were,
still though transparent and always fragile,
sometimes sharp but only on the right angle,
can be melted and reshaped to fit specifications,
stretched and set and broken again,
until no longer salvageable
and my thousand pieces will be swept
and picked and out of any normal room kept.
Except on a night like tonight,
where I die here alone on this city street
and I wipe away my tear stained cheeks,
I thought myself five star graded,
only to find I’ve yet to be rated,
and now my solidarity breaks my sanity,
this is where I’ll spend eternity
it seems,
being rained on by my broken dreams.