deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Fighter
You came to us,
not with your heart on your sleeve,
but in your hand.
It’s red robust rhythm,
with its welcoming wholesome warmth,
they’d never seen such singular strength.
Pure and perfect in your palm,
it shimmered and shone like a star.
They envied its power,
which they’d never be able to grasp.
They came at you with their hungry hands,
breaking away pieces of you,
trying to take away who you are.
You didn’t know it then,
but one day you will,
be so much more than many men may have dreamed of.
No one can fight on like that forever,
fearless and frenzied, faultless in falling.
When the last stand comes,
I will take arms,
I will fight at your side,
slowly to restore you.
One day soft wings will embrace you,
carry you home.
One day you will be home [/font]
not with your heart on your sleeve,
but in your hand.
It’s red robust rhythm,
with its welcoming wholesome warmth,
they’d never seen such singular strength.
Pure and perfect in your palm,
it shimmered and shone like a star.
They envied its power,
which they’d never be able to grasp.
They came at you with their hungry hands,
breaking away pieces of you,
trying to take away who you are.
You didn’t know it then,
but one day you will,
be so much more than many men may have dreamed of.
No one can fight on like that forever,
fearless and frenzied, faultless in falling.
When the last stand comes,
I will take arms,
I will fight at your side,
slowly to restore you.
One day soft wings will embrace you,
carry you home.
One day you will be home [/font]
Published 13th Apr 2010
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comments 4
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Anonymous
14th Apr 2010 8:54pm
I read this and then looked at your profile..
with that in mind, I think you have 'come of age' as per your bio, this IS great poetry - I really enjoyed reading it - it's concise and intelligent..
Couple of thoughts in terms of criticism...avoid starting every line with a capital letter...and I think this verse could be broken out into 2 stanzas to enable the reader to 'pause for breath'....
Well done
Steven
with that in mind, I think you have 'come of age' as per your bio, this IS great poetry - I really enjoyed reading it - it's concise and intelligent..
Couple of thoughts in terms of criticism...avoid starting every line with a capital letter...and I think this verse could be broken out into 2 stanzas to enable the reader to 'pause for breath'....
Well done
Steven
15th Apr 2010 8:34pm
thank you very much for the thoughtful and helpful comment. I'm very glad that you like it and will take your critism into serious consideration, i think the capital letters maybe the work of my word processor that i had not paid proper attention to. Thank you
16th Aug 2010 6:00pm
23rd Aug 2010 6:35pm
thank you so much for the wonderful comment. Your the type of reader that keeps me writing :D
