The Betrayal I Want to Make

I know it is wrong
I know it is evil to even think this,
But I cannot help it.
Once again I am a demon.
For I want to do something
I should not do.
To say what should not be said.
I cannot say this word to you
Though it aches to leave my mind
And run out my mouth.
If I say this word
It will be the ultimate betrayal
To the one I have pledged myself to.
I love him, I DO!
So why do I want to say this so badly?
Why can I not be happy with what I have?
Why do I want to be a demon again?
I do not want to hurt him
I cannot hurt either of you.
The war rages ever on . . .