Black TieDye

 This poem may or may not make sense to some of you, but at least you chose to read it. I chose the title "Black TieDye" because I was confused and thinking while writing it-which I never do. The only aspect that I dislike about it is that it sounds similar to a stereotypical teenage diary.
 
It's as if a massive black hole is filling in my chest.
And no matter how or what I try, it will not let me truly rest.
my mind is blank, there is Nothing inside.
No thoughts, no memories. It's as if they are trying to hide.
 
I watch movies to clear the darkness in my mind,
but right when the movie is finished, my darkness
returns, and I reverse the time.
 
I have no clue as to why I am becoming this depressed.
Just today, out of nowhere, it dropped by for a visit:
"Hello, let me ruin your life for a few weeks, until you
go outrageously mad and begin plotting your own death"
 
I don't know if I'm becoming psychotic
 I just sit on the roof at night
and think about so many things all at once,
that I nearly roll off the side. And sometimes,
I just sit there and cry for no particular reason.
 
The Darkness has always been the only object that joys me,
But now, it is beginning to bore me.
For I have known the darkness for so long,
that maybe, the happiness that it always brought me
is fading.
 
I wish that the dark grey clouds would appear in the sky
at this very moment and begin to cry.
That the wind would become stronger, cold,
I wish that winter would arrive early
because I do not like being depressed when  
all those around are joyful and happy.
I enjoy being happy and colorful when
everyone else is cold and moody.  
I may sound selfish, but I know of
no other way how to explain this behavior.
 

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