deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Thoughts of You
For many years now I have waited for you to say:
“I am in love with you” oh I have heard you many
times over say, “I love you”, when you leave for work,
when you call at lunch and when go to sleep at night.
Its become common place but something hasn’t been right;
when we make love your desire for me, isn’t in your eyes,
only lust. How do I know? When you need,
you reach out and touch, not a word said, not a caress of love,
just a touch and you climb on spend your need and you move on.
Women are perceptive creatures, when a man is in love it shows
in his body language, in his mannerisms, especially in his eyes,
they light up when ever his woman is in sight,
fire bright when his desire for her runs high.
She can walk past and cause his body to quake;
the smell of her perfume can, an erection create.
He tries to find any and all kind of ways
to touch her throughout the day, anxious for sexual play.
He can’t get enough of her and he shows it in so many ways.
In our relationship it is not like that, we are friends and companions,
we get along great and together we have moved mountains
because we are so much alike, we enjoy each others company
and our adventures are highlights. But intimacy is non existent,
romance a foreign word, passion is substituted with lust;
it is your needs that are catered to never mine,
my needs or wants never enter your mind.
This has caused more than its share of problems; infidelity
on both our parts, but yours was peppered with cruelty
when you said you were tired of me, and that the total
opposite of what I am, is what you really wanted.
That I had grown fat (which I am not),
too old (in my 40’s ?) and you deserved something better,
I do not weigh 90lbs/41kg wet nor am I in my 20’s.
I have for years been aware of your roaming eye and your
flirtatious nature has brought many a tear to my eyes.
You have made it no secret that I am not performing
the way you’d like in bed, the things you like I will not accept,
so you always go around feeling sexually unfed.
Not once have you taken the time to please me,
you say those things I like are unmanly or nasty,
but at the same time, that my aversion
to your deviant sexual appetites
are hang ups because I am sexually uptight.
I try to be patient, to keep an open mind,
weighing the good and the bad, the pros and cons,
in every other way we are terrific, many people envy us,
the relationship we have and the great way we get along.
Is it that we have become good at hiding what is wrong,
even from each other that we don’t see what is going on?
Or is it that I am wanting too much and I should just be satisfied?
That question has rung over and over again in my mind.
Is it better to stay with the devil you know or try a devil unknown?
We are not young anymore throwing away what we have,
going out to explore. What does that say about me?
Am I a coward for accepting this half life and sexual misery?
Had I been naïve to the ways of the world
I would have accepted this better, I would know no different,
sexually this would be all I would know but, I do know.
I know what it feels like to be desired, to be wanted,
to be such a turn on, that a man will ejaculate in his pants.
I know what it is like to make a man lose his mind,
To be the drug he cannot live without,
to be wanted you so much anyplace would suffice,
to see the fire burn in his eyes.
I know warmth of true love; I know what it feels like.
So do I continue down this path condemned to a life of contentment?
Am I to never know again the fire and passion of being in love?
Is this what I already have, the true love I have always been in search of?
Gypsy Red
“I am in love with you” oh I have heard you many
times over say, “I love you”, when you leave for work,
when you call at lunch and when go to sleep at night.
Its become common place but something hasn’t been right;
when we make love your desire for me, isn’t in your eyes,
only lust. How do I know? When you need,
you reach out and touch, not a word said, not a caress of love,
just a touch and you climb on spend your need and you move on.
Women are perceptive creatures, when a man is in love it shows
in his body language, in his mannerisms, especially in his eyes,
they light up when ever his woman is in sight,
fire bright when his desire for her runs high.
She can walk past and cause his body to quake;
the smell of her perfume can, an erection create.
He tries to find any and all kind of ways
to touch her throughout the day, anxious for sexual play.
He can’t get enough of her and he shows it in so many ways.
In our relationship it is not like that, we are friends and companions,
we get along great and together we have moved mountains
because we are so much alike, we enjoy each others company
and our adventures are highlights. But intimacy is non existent,
romance a foreign word, passion is substituted with lust;
it is your needs that are catered to never mine,
my needs or wants never enter your mind.
This has caused more than its share of problems; infidelity
on both our parts, but yours was peppered with cruelty
when you said you were tired of me, and that the total
opposite of what I am, is what you really wanted.
That I had grown fat (which I am not),
too old (in my 40’s ?) and you deserved something better,
I do not weigh 90lbs/41kg wet nor am I in my 20’s.
I have for years been aware of your roaming eye and your
flirtatious nature has brought many a tear to my eyes.
You have made it no secret that I am not performing
the way you’d like in bed, the things you like I will not accept,
so you always go around feeling sexually unfed.
Not once have you taken the time to please me,
you say those things I like are unmanly or nasty,
but at the same time, that my aversion
to your deviant sexual appetites
are hang ups because I am sexually uptight.
I try to be patient, to keep an open mind,
weighing the good and the bad, the pros and cons,
in every other way we are terrific, many people envy us,
the relationship we have and the great way we get along.
Is it that we have become good at hiding what is wrong,
even from each other that we don’t see what is going on?
Or is it that I am wanting too much and I should just be satisfied?
That question has rung over and over again in my mind.
Is it better to stay with the devil you know or try a devil unknown?
We are not young anymore throwing away what we have,
going out to explore. What does that say about me?
Am I a coward for accepting this half life and sexual misery?
Had I been naïve to the ways of the world
I would have accepted this better, I would know no different,
sexually this would be all I would know but, I do know.
I know what it feels like to be desired, to be wanted,
to be such a turn on, that a man will ejaculate in his pants.
I know what it is like to make a man lose his mind,
To be the drug he cannot live without,
to be wanted you so much anyplace would suffice,
to see the fire burn in his eyes.
I know warmth of true love; I know what it feels like.
So do I continue down this path condemned to a life of contentment?
Am I to never know again the fire and passion of being in love?
Is this what I already have, the true love I have always been in search of?
Gypsy Red
Published 5th Aug 2012
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5th Aug 2012 3:36pm
Wow, this one hits home ...
"when a man is in love it shows in his body language, in his mannerisms,
especially in his eyes, they light up when ever his woman is in sight,
fire bright when his desire for her runs high."
Many of the words my wife would say (if she wrote poetry, which she does not).
"That question has rung over and over again in my mind.
Is it better to stay with the devil you know or try a devil unknown?
We are not young anymore throwing away what we have,
going out to explore. What does that say about me?
Am I a coward for accepting this half life and sexual misery?"
Feelings I have felt on and off over the years. Then I rationalize saying that humans were never meant to live this long. We were suppose to mature sexually, breed, fight off the sabre tooth tigers while the kids grew, and then die. Silly sentimental fools for wanting more, a life long love affair with all the trappings.
Thanks for touching me soul to soul sad gypsy
"when a man is in love it shows in his body language, in his mannerisms,
especially in his eyes, they light up when ever his woman is in sight,
fire bright when his desire for her runs high."
Many of the words my wife would say (if she wrote poetry, which she does not).
"That question has rung over and over again in my mind.
Is it better to stay with the devil you know or try a devil unknown?
We are not young anymore throwing away what we have,
going out to explore. What does that say about me?
Am I a coward for accepting this half life and sexual misery?"
Feelings I have felt on and off over the years. Then I rationalize saying that humans were never meant to live this long. We were suppose to mature sexually, breed, fight off the sabre tooth tigers while the kids grew, and then die. Silly sentimental fools for wanting more, a life long love affair with all the trappings.
Thanks for touching me soul to soul sad gypsy
5th Aug 2012 3:42pm
This piece brought many tears to my eyes that fail to fall because they remedy nothing. Silence in this case is my fate.To love and not be loved the same way knowing and wishing you did not know is cruel. (sigh) It is what it is.
Thanks for the read and the comment Mark, I need a cigarette and a drink; too bad I don't do either anymore.
Red
Thanks for the read and the comment Mark, I need a cigarette and a drink; too bad I don't do either anymore.
Red
5th Aug 2012 3:48pm
Your welcome. I can so relate about tobacco and alcohol (although I smoked a pipe - I miss it sometimes!)
29th Aug 2012 3:27am
5th Aug 2012 4:06pm
So many have known and still know this existence, you have touched it so clearly here, it depletes one from within and makes them question and doubt themselves more then the situation,there is more and no reason why you shouldn't have it/feel it.
Excellent profound and poignant write my friend.
Excellent profound and poignant write my friend.
5th Aug 2012 4:23pm
Thank you so much sweet Magda, kindness is good salve for sorrow and sadness. Thanks for reading.
Red
Red
Anonymous
5th Aug 2012 4:32pm
Very nice poem giving us much to think about, Red.
Strider :)
Strider :)
5th Aug 2012 4:43pm
Thanks Strider for stopping by to read my humble all be it personal read. Thanks again.
Red.
Red.
5th Aug 2012 5:15pm
Nature abhors a vacuum and yet bestows upon man and woman, sparing none from time to time, the absence, the nothingness, the void, the bare blank silence of the empty heart. And yet you spoke up to define for us all, most eloquently and bravely the way it sometimes sadly is. a most considerable piece of work
5th Aug 2012 5:22pm
Yes my friend, I don't think anyone deserves to be subjected to a sad existence like this but unfortunately we are many, many of us.Thank you for reading.
Red
Red
6th Aug 2012 1:18am
Gypsy... I am amazed at how well you penned the "relationship experience" over time.
Each line is filled with deep contemplation and emotion....For You I wish all the passion in the world... for a heart such as yours richly deserves it.
Fire.
Each line is filled with deep contemplation and emotion....For You I wish all the passion in the world... for a heart such as yours richly deserves it.
Fire.
6th Aug 2012 1:26am
Thank you girlfriend for your kind words I don't know what I deserve but hope is the last thing that dies. Thank you for the generous wish on my behalf, I pray for just as much for you.
Red
Red
8th Aug 2012 00:33am
This really hits the nail right on the head about a relationship at it's breaking point. And how it is so hard to let go of whatever it might be.
8th Aug 2012 00:36am
very true because you are damned if you do and damned if you don't the choice is up to the individual.Thanks for the visit and the comment.
Red
Red
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2012 7:51pm
<< post removed >>
22nd Aug 2012 7:55pm
Thank you Gabriel this is a very personal piece, happy you enjoyed it.Thanks for stopping by.
Red
Red
