Brain Dead

Broke Spines. Dead Minds.
Cold Blue.
But this is life?

Brain Dead.

Sleep.
Sleep never comes easy, when you’ve realized that
Dreams are the liquor to sleep. Since, drunken tongues speak sober minds, dreams make you conscious of your conscience. And nightmares only show you the demons of your temptations, the monsters you try to hide from.
And sometimes, I’m crying, Lord sending me a sign that I don’t have to be hooked on this habit ,
So this time, I put the dream down to confront the demon itself.
But, I already had a hangover.
Ears ringing, from footsteps pounding
Turn to my phone, the droid says its only 7 in the morning..
Guess, this time, I took more than what I could tolerate.
I’m throwing up anguish, sweating worry, crying mercy, aching fear, numbed by this dose…
“what do you mean, he’s been in a car accident?”
See, now I’m trying to replay all the vernacular which could help sustain the understanding of the simplicity of words… car accident..
But, when you’re blinded by memories of,
Being raised in same households,
Churches,
Family dinners,
Cousin rivalry
It really only starts a rivalry of emotions and composure
And too overwhelmed, you can’t hold your composure when your overflowing emotions that only make you fear the worst…
My cousin might be paralyzed, my cousin might be dead..
Now, I’m serving a God who can handle everything, that all which we encounter is apart of his plans
But damn here I am, fighting another battle
Cause I want to be mad like God, why didn’t you protect him?
We only question God, when we can’t understand
Claim we thanking God, when we have comprehension
Always praying to God to deliver us
Never praising God for delivering us .
But religion, and alcoholics don’t mix.
But, now I’m seeking medical attention
To understand, this suspension from life.
It was four in the car.
3 in the hospitals.
2 at Upenn.
And we’re surrounding a bed.
Screaming a name
Marc.
Can you hear me?
Marc.
Wake up.
Marc.
Open your eyes.
Hours passed waiting room.
1 is pronounced brain dead.
I go in and see one.
Walk down the hallway & see the other.
And it’s just a back & forth motion of
Helplessness.
Lost.
Looking for direction
And you can’t be directed, when the compass is broken.

Broke Spines. Dead Minds.
Cold Blue.
But this is life?

Brain Dead.

Marc responds… how about Verdon?
And my brain is working over time, to understand brain dead.
Brain dead in someone that I’ve seen smile
Someone who when I’m now visiting them
Just look like they’re sleep.
No scratches. No scars.
At peace.
But, God, how could this be?
And I’m not trying to give up, because the quitter was never in me.
But, the doctors say there isn’t a possibility.
And I’m searching for consolation
But, how can you find consolation, in confirmation
That with a blink of an eye
Your life can alter forever.
That how things were, they’ll no longer be.
That it is over for the life that we’ve known.
How could you ever pull a plug on the one that you love?
Boy, how I wish I was drunk.
And hours later , its not much left to say .
You’re thanking God 3 was sparred ,
But trying to seek understanding as why one was taking away .

Broke Spines. Dead Minds.
Cold Blue.
But this is life?

Brain Dead.
And I’m crying out,
Can’t stop crying
Cause I would take yesterday before today .
And unfortunately, we’ve already turned our backs on the past
Since we’re walking to tomorrow .
Only memories circulate through the cerebellum
Visiting cousins in hospitals
And notice how quickly rooms have been occupied by a new person.
Seen body bags filled
And I’m scarred for life.
Brain dead.

RIP VERDON
SUNSET - 07.01.12